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184 sixteen Commas A discussion on commas could have gone in any one of the parts of this book, but I filed it under “Common Errors” because, well, the misuse of commas is a very common error. It stands to reason that the comma should trouble people more than something like the period, because it has more functions than any other punctuation mark. Its versatility can make it seem random and subjective; some people think you should just scatter commas around whenever your sentences don’t have enough, the way you add garlic salt to chili. In fact, there are specific principles that govern the way commas should be applied—between eight and twelve of them, depending on whom you ask. I certainly encourage you to educate yourself on as many of these rules as possible, because to some extent a fiction writer is in the same boat as everyone else when it comes to comma usage: screwing up any of the rules will damage your work. But an analysis of all twelve (or eight) of these rules would be long and tedious, plus you can easily find other books or websites that explain such matters. As with most things we’ve discussed, some aspects of comma usage apply to fiction writing more directly than others, so we’ll look at just four of those eight (or twelve) rules, the ones that in my opinion give creative writers the most trouble. In the final section, we’ll go through three particular problems of comma usage that tend to crop up in creative work, and that don’t have much to do with the four rules. I apologize in advance if this reads more like a chapter from a standard grammar manual. It’s hard to differentiate the points without getting a bit technical, and I may have to overexplain some things. But it really is important to keep these rules straight; a lack of appropriate comma usage will mark your fiction as amateurish. I’ve even numbered the sections this time, so you know I’m serious. C o mm a s | 185 The Do’s 1. Use a Comma Before a Conjunction That Unites Independent Clauses I almost lost a job because I misunderstood this rule, so it can conceivably have practical effects on your life. But it’s also one whose violation most readers won’t notice, and therefore fiction writers often ignore it for rhythmic effect. Here’s the story of the nearly lost job. I had applied to teach a freshmanlevel writing class at a university whose curriculum was relatively grammarheavy . Although I like to think my cover letter and CV were mostly clean, my boss later confessed that she’d almost dismissed my application because I kept putting commas before the conjunction in sentences with compound predicates. She told me this in a voice full of empathetic shame, as if she were saying I had toilet paper on my shoe. Indeed, it was an oversight; if you’re applying to be an English teacher at an elite university (an expensive one, anyway), the standard for your grammar is going to be a bit higher than anywhere else. But I honestly didn’t know I was making a mistake. No one ever told me about it, and making the error didn’t make my prose look or sound odd. To understand this rule, we have to establish the difference between compound sentences and simple sentences that have compound predicates. “I went to the game, and I bought a hot dog” is compound, meaning it consists of two independent clauses (“I went to the game” and “I bought a hot dog”) that have been joined with a coordinating conjunction (“and,” “for,” “but,” “or,” etc.). A comma should come before that conjunction. In considering the nature of simple sentences, don’t be fooled by the name—the term doesn’t apply just to things like “Fire burns” or “Spot bit Jane.” The “simple” part refers to the fact that these sentences contain a subject/verb combo that completes a thought; simple sentences achieve the minimum requirement for sentencehood. But there’s a twist: they can contain more than one of those core elements. A simple sentence might have two or more subjects, as in “Yale, Park, and Baylor are private universities .” They also can have more than one verb: “Bart wheezed, coughed, and died.” When they do have multiple verbs, we refer to them as simple sentences with...

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