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Hope springs eternal. Memo to 2000 Presidential Candidates: Read My Book Ask the presidential candidates which book they’re reading, their favorite book, or the book that most influenced them, and it’s highly unlikely that you’ll get an honest answer.For all I know,Al Gore is a voracious reader and the tome that turned him on to literature was The Poky Little Puppy. John McCain’s character might have been shaped by the steadfast honor of Dr. Seuss’s noble pachyderm in Horton Hatches the Egg. George W. Bush might have gotten a kick out of Memoirs of aWoman of Pleasure.But by now,all of the candidates have brainstormed with political advisors (who, in turn, have conducted extensive focus groups) to determine the most politically advantageous response to literary questions. The Bible would seem to the most expedient answer to all literary inquiries posed in the current political season. My own choice would be The Grapes of Wrath, but that’s 619 pages long and none of the candidates seems to have that lengthy an attention span. Meanwhile, I have a suggestion and a plea to all presidential candidates—READ MY BOOK. I’ve authored quite a few books, but Mark Twain Remembers is my favorite.The story line is straightforward. Mark Twain is on his deathbed in 1910, reflecting back on a six-week period in his life that occurred in 1856 when he was twenty years old. It’s a book that deals in eternal truths; focusing on Twain’s life, slavery, and a young man coming of age. There’s also a love story. I should add that Mark Twain Remembers is a novel.The distinction between fact and fiction doesn’t seem to matter much to writers these days.And in politics, truth is clearly secondary to whether a candidate wears Brooks Brothers or double-knit shirts. But I did want to set the record straight. The book has gotten nice reviews.The NewYork Daily News called it “enjoyable.”The Philadelphia Inquirer said I’d created “an unforgettable REFLECTIONS 247 hero.” Barry Farber told a national radio audience,“MarkTwain Remembers is one of the most remarkable books in years.” The NewYorkTimes didn’t review the book.My publisher tells me this is because he doesn’t advertise in the New York Times Book Review. However, to make up for that slight, PublishersWeekly reviewed the book twice.The first PW review opined that I had more audacity than wit. Then, thanks to an internal screw-up, PW reviewed the book a second time and declared,“A bittersweet ending perfectly caps this swift moral adventure. Succinct history lessons contextualize the tale, and the writing is so smooth it’s impossible to tell which words areTwain’s and which are Hauser’s in this witty elegiac novel.” Anyway, it’s a good book. But the business of publishing being what it is, I’ve run into some problems. My publisher is a small house that can’t afford to pay Barnes & Noble thousands of dollars to put posters in the windows and piles of books by the cash register.There’s no co-op advertising or any of the other marketing incentives that encourage today’s bookstore behemoths to stock a particular title, so distribution has been poor. However, some Barnes & Noble stores do have the book in stock, and you can order a copy through Amazon.com if the website hasn’t been shut down by a computer hacker. If you get a chance to read MarkTwain Remembers, I’d appreciate your mentioning it during one of the televised presidential debates.That’s not as good for an author as being selected by Oprah’s Book Club, but it will help.Also, maybe you could get one of the pool photographers to take a picture of you reading the book.That would make me feel really good. After all, one of the nicest things about writing for a living is the realization that, on occasion, someone actually reads what I write. 248 THOMAS HAUSER ...

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