La Far

Irreversibility Ode

62 i r r e v e r s i b i l i t y o d e 1 I was just outside witnessing in that tree I told you about a transaction the sparrows both sides of their faces leaves from having to appear snatches of old laws leaves slight in wind dead veil lost the very idea of a face unsmoothed contact this squirrel has smooth decline of back its eyes closed at me the irrelevance or whatever I tried I tried to catch something and the sparrows sitting on top of the bush exhausted with difference also I walked across the grass it makes life too much I heard a bird I have never heard before that means there is maybe a new bird their eyes are okay “What do you do? Yes” in the street a girl holding her neck 63 both sides now maybe we can stop using the word joy lost the very idea of seeing I’m sorry: the leaves are coming into the room I am looking forward to the birds it is hard to tell their fronts from their backs because it is all singing the tree I cannot see blocking the light I can already come to the floor squinting in the yellows arrows in the tree the sparrows extrinsic dream of consent on the branches between what is and what ought to—dissimulating—the sparrows 2 I was just outside witnessing in that tree I told you about a transaction sparrows supplementing leaves from having to appear and a blue jay who cannot—mattered regalia —sparrow on the branch—deadpan—machéd-up and sitting on the bush—torpid dream of consent but one who absorbs or will not absorb flowers because of a deep almost shockingly deep respect 64 I’ll walk and feel something pushing on me from the side it is happiness the possibility of world up to now the sparrow extrinsic and so extinct extinction relative myself mirrored is it different to step on in leaves yes partly because many-rooted holding this cup in my hand at a slant I tried catching the moments when the leaf came off birch—the exact point of separation how to break something 3 I think I’m going crazy with the squirrel does not need to hunt what is it to hunt an acorn how is that different one eating the find while the other waits there are animals who wait each spring they make sacrifices The wall is holding me they’ll always be now 65 4 aerial limning trees are all my consciousness allows, and branches compensatory effects of power I again have nothing and am running into such resistance I feel my spirit hit and I surge back there is no way to say this I just went by the river a rat—the building is wet having lost all motivation except to be touched by the tree 5 or the girl derealization unsettingly no modicum of circularity hitting or up “lost the very of a ‘face’” I have the wind on my arms and face dead veil lifting veil unsmoothed the rabbit’s awake the moth at the red bush or tree at rubbing my hands 66 6 I have opened my window—leaf that falls from outside the tree—splayed because mattered regalia—“the irrelevance or whatever”—her hand near his face holding the wall—blue excavated, not hearing an alarm the squirrel its eyes closed excavated—clutching her hand like pills lips to it—out from the afterwards I was just outside witnessing in that tree I told you about a transaction 7 I tried to catch something something about the way branches part with each other a shock to that abstraction to write and have it come back the sparrows—between what is and what ought to—dissimulating— I’ve been trying to catch something but the whole world comes up spindles of the upshot grosser intricacies ethics of extinction 67 morning bell actually fighting it off There is no outside outside fill the window the sparrow sitting on top of the bush like an unpassed vast difference I’m on my it is apportioned it is subversive here— all time occurring at once I just wish it 8 was speaking as I went to...