Orphans

35

35 I am outside the building, the sun still rising, a splash of orange and red, with tendrils of purple creeping across the otherwise gray sky and stretching over the massiveness of Kanas Lake. I have my board on my shoulder and my bags are sitting in the lobby awaiting my return. I know E.C. can’t feel anything, but it’s hard not to think that he looked sad when I left, and while it may just be the guilt, I know it wasn’t because I was leaving, but because of how I treated Shalla and how different it could have been. Joey is kicking along beside me and I am going to drop him off at school before I hit the waves, the shuttle, and Mars. “Hey buddy,” I say, “as we were sort of talking about last night, I need to go to work again today, but I will be home soon.” “Okay,” he says, “will you bring me another rocket?” “Yeah,” I say, “of course. I also have a big favor to ask you, alright?” “Okay,” he says, looking up at me with this big brown eyes, “what?” “I need you to be the man of the house while I’m gone,” I say. “What do you mean,” he says, “you’re still here even when you’re gone.” “Yeah,” I say choking-up, “how so?’ Joey stops walking and takes my hand. “You know, you’re here to walk me to school, or hug me when I’m sad,” he says. “Is that good?” I say. O R P H A N S 126 “Sure,” he says, “but you don’t smell like you, or hug quite the same way, and mommy cries more. She misses you, you you, you know?” I start to cry and quickly wipe the tears so Joey won’t see me. “Look buddy,” I say, leaning down to his level and lightly gripping his shoulders, “I really love you guys, and I will be home soon okay? I promise to be home soon, so you keep an eye on mommy for me, deal?” “If you promise to bring me another rocket,” he says. “Done,” I say hugging him a little too hard. “I can’t breathe daddy,” Joey says. I let go of him and watch as Joey runs into school, enters his cubicle and puts on his headphones. I then watch him for a moment as he begins his lesson. “ei, bi, xi…” ...