War Makes Men of Boys: A Soldier's World War II

Chapter Four: Buddies and Girlfriends

Entering the armed forces always involves a sharp rupture of existing friendships and imposes an almost immediate necessity for establishing new relationships in a strange and distant environment and an esoteric occupational culture. . . . Friendship at once becomes a necessity for survival rather than a purely social activity. Roger Little, Friendships in the Military Community The 1943 Rosemary, UrbanaHighSchool’syearbookformyfather’s senior year, paints an idyllic picture of high school life in the 1940s. There are pages devoted to sports teams, student council, and cheer squads, photos of homeroom classes and honor societies, and a large spread devoted to theater productions of The Imaginary Invalid and The Man Who Came to Dinner . The outside world intrudes a little on this carefree picture, as two pages are devoted to “Urbana High in the War,” and the editor’s introduction notes that “we’ve taken our studying a bit more seriously this year, for the war had its effect on all of us. We all bought our share of saving stamps. . . . The girls folded bandages and knitted for the Red Cross. . . . The boys collected scrap metal. . . . They talked ‘Air Corps’ and compared draft numbers, and several left us to ‘join up.’”1 This was the reality as my father and other members of the class of 1943 graduated. According to the Rosemary, 174 seniors graduated from Urbana High in 1943. My father was at the top of his class academically, one of four valedictorians . The face that looks out from his senior picture is serious (he is one of only two boys wearing glasses) and more youthful than the faces of many members of his class. The yearbook lists his full name—“Joe Ted Miller”— but no nickname, although nicknames (“Mac,” “Junie,” “Doc”) accompany manyoftheotherentries.Hislistedactivitiesareacademicsocieties,theState Latin Contest, and work as sports editor on the school paper. Thirty-three of Dad’s classmates signed his yearbook, most with simple signatures, but a few with additional notes wishing him good luck or referring to his academic prowess with monikers such as “Prof” and “Brains.” Some of the signatures camefromgirlsintheclass,thoughnoneoftheseyoungladieswereromantic chapter four Buddies and Girlfriends H 72 H chapter four interests. As my father reported in his memoirs, “I never had a ‘date’ in high school. None. Zilch.” Ifnotforthewar,thenextfewyearsofmyfather’slifewouldhaveunfolded in predictable fashion. He would have attended the University of Illinois, probably still living at home and continuing his close connections with relatives and family friends. Living at home would have allowed him to continue his relationships with high school classmates who were also still in town, but he would undoubtedly have made new friends at college. He would probably have kept his job as a sports writer for the News-Gazette, thus continuing his connections with both the hometown newspaper and local coaches and players. In essence, the social network of his youth—family, friends, community members—would have continued, and it would have been enriched with new friends through college and work. Who knows, he might have even gone out on a date. But the war intruded. After a semester at the University of Illinois, my father was drafted, and he reported for duty. He would be moving far away from the home, family, and friends who had defined his life for many years. The knowledge that this was happening to other young men all around the country was probably only slightly comforting for this eighteen-year-old who described himself as “self-conscious around other people who were not family or close friends.” The rest of this chapter, then, will review my father’s experiences with friendship and (to a lesser extent) romance during the months of his military service and will look at ways in which these wartime relationships may have shaped his later social life. After considering my father’s months of basictrainingandhiseffortstomakefriends,hischoiceofbuddies,andthenatureofhisrelationshipswith “theboys,”Iwillexaminethewaysinwhichthese relationshipsbothcontinuedandevolvedduringhismonthsinEurope.Aftera brieflookatmyfather’sconnectionswithhome-frontfriendsandhisromantic interests, I will examine the ways in which his relationships can be seen as the “rule”orthe“exception”toexistingtheoryandresearchonfriendship.Finally, Iwillconsiderthewaysinwhichmyfather’sexperienceswithbuddiesandgirlfriends during the war shaped the nature of his relationships in later life. Buddies during Basic Mine was limited service. Perforated eardrum. It was stateside all the way, safe and uneventful. Yet I remember, in surprising detail, the uneventful events; and all those boy-faces, pimply, acned, baby-smooth, and bewildered. James Sanders, in Studs Terkel’s The Good War Buddies and Girlfriends H 73 When my father arrived at Camp Blanding...