Proving Grounds, The

Prerogative

31 PrerogATive When I am a man my eyes flash I walk straight-backed shoulder-heavy And laugh like my Akita’s bark That makes the windows shake. When I am a man I am everything my father wished, Stronger than anyone in this room tonight, Bring it on, I’ll arm-wrestle you right here Because I bench-press more than fraternity boys And walk smooth and flat, rough-supple, My gaze never darts to the side— When I am a man I am everything I wish, Warm, thick-chested with a hearty stench Not a single apology Just fuck you get out of my way,tough boy For when I’m a man I forget To watch my husband’s gestures, The small slip of his shoulders when he’s sad, A clip in his voice when I forget too much, Roll forward like so many tanks— If only being a man could be as noble as this, If I could be noble like this— More like the dog I saw this morning, Measured-paced, St. Bernard-Sheperd mix Forehead broad as a bear’s 32 And shoulders strong enough To sweep his human from her feet, This mighty dog, tan and flecked With black and gray, So gentle, adjusting himself To her arthritic pace, her spine and elbows bent— His head bent with this measured generosity His alone to provide. ...