The Last Jewish Virgin

Chapter 19

113 19 B y morning, I felt somewhat better. Although weak, I was no longer shivery and cold, and my head had returned to its normal size and weight. I remained in bed and soon heard my mother tramp loudly to my door. She entered without waiting for me to invite her in. She came right toward me, leaning down and placing her hand on my forehead. “I think you’re over the worst,” she said, coolly. I sat up and immediately had a wrenching coughing spell. Standing over me, hands sternly on her hips, her mouth a minus sign, she waited for my coughing to subside. “I spoke to Baron earlier ,” she finally said, when my hacking had stopped and my body was still, “and I’m meeting him for lunch. “ Her tone grew softer. “I’m aware that you’ve got . . . feelings . . . for him. He’s also aware of it. And it’s okay. We understand.” “Go away,” I said, almost choking. My body had no life force. “Just go away.” “Lilith,” she said, formally, “what has come over you?” She towered above me. “No, what has come over you?” My throat was being torn to shreds. Tears started up in my eyes, and my vision grew misty. I’d had enough of her. I held up my hand, warning her not to come any closer. “How dare you? You’re the one with the . . . 114 The Last Jewish Virgin ’feelings’ . . . for him!” Exhausted and utterly spent, I closed my eyes, and a few halfhearted tears ran down my cheeks. I felt lost. She was my mother, after all, the person who was supposed to help me heal when I got sick, the person who was supposed to love me more than anyone else in the world. Standing above me, she stared down, her eyes wide with amazement and anger. I felt her rage as deeply as I felt my own. “You have absolutely nothing to say about my relationship with Baron,” she said, her hand flying to her Star of David. I sensed that she wanted to slap me across my face, something she had never done. My body tensed even more, and I shut my eyes tight, trying to rid myself of the poisonous rage flooding my body. “May I have the phone, please,” I finally said, forcing myself to open my eyes and look directly at her. She wheeled around, her curls bouncing wildly, and left the room, returning a moment later with the cordless phone. Her face remained hard as she handed me the phone and then left, shutting the door with too much force. I laid the phone down on the pillow, and dialed Colin’s number . “Hi,” I said, my voice thawing as soon as he answered. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to register us for that past life workshop.” “Lilith, I really want to see you,” he said, “but I just don’t understand your interest in that workshop.” “Please, Colin.” My voice broke. He hesitated, but only briefly. “Okay,” he said, and I was grateful that his strong desire for me trumped his rationality. We hung up, and it occurred to me that I couldn’t just walk blindly into the New Age workshop. I had to prepare myself for whatever I might encounter there. Feeling too tired to sit at the computer, I dialed Information and was quickly connected to The New Age Institute. “The Couples Workshop takes place Tuesday night,” a man cheerfully answered my first question. “Couples step back in time and re-live past lives.” I tried to imagine what the man behind this disembodied, upbeat voice looked like—a dissembling con artist? Or the real thing, a great, big, bubbly, transcendent being? Flat on my back, Janice Eidus 115 the phone cradled between neck and shoulder, I barely stifled another cough. “You’d be amazed,” he continued, “at how often couples discover that they were lovers previously, sometimes in several past lives.” I practically rolled my eyes. What was I hoping to accomplish by signing up for this class? Did I think that I’d be able to win Mr. Rock back from my mother? Or did I hope to rescue her from his clutches? All I knew for sure was that I felt compelled to attend. “It sounds interesting,” I said. And then I hung up...