Mark Twain Speaking

90. Savage Club

302 MARK TWAIN SPEAKING· 90 · The Savage Club of Christchurch, New Zealand, assembled a distinguished gathering to honor Mark Twain at a late supper. The menu had a Twainian flavor: Mayonnaise aMons. Thomas Sawyer, Grenouille sautante a la Smiley, Poudin a la tete de Wilson, Gelee au vin Huckleberry, and other appropriate dishes. Supper Speech Savage Club Supperfor Mark Twain, Provincial Council Chamber, Christchurch, New Zealand, November 15,1895 Mr. Chairman and Savages, as you call yourselves, for some reason best known to yourselves, for certainly I should not have taken you for such. I have mixed a good deal with the lower order of savages, and I have seen them in all costumes and in no costumes at all-in all costumes except this one that you wear this evening. With my experience of savages, I know that however picturesque they may be in their dress, and sometimes they are very picturesque, the costume which I see before me is the best one suited to educated and cultured savages. I am glad to meet this kind of savages. I have been received in such a pleasant way ever since I have been in New Zealand and Australia-and this is another case of the kind-that I should like to return general thanks to all the friends who have given me these pleasant receptions; and I must return special thanks to you, gentlemen, for this great honor in making me an honorary member, and, as you say, the first honorary member of your club. It makes me feel as large as your great moa-and if I go on dissipating like this I shall be as extinct as your great moa. Have you ever considered how difficult the position of the guest of the evening on an occasion such as this is? For there is only one speech made before he must get on his feet, and that does not generally afford him a very fruitful text to talk upon, for it consists of compliments to him, and if you listened point blank to compliments fired at you at short range, and have had to talk on a text like that, you must know how weak your position is; you must have recognized that however MARK TWAIN SPEAKING 303 great and fine those compliments are, you do deserve them. If there is a lack anywhere, it is that they fall a little short of your deserts. But even if, for that reason, the text they afford you is not a good one you perceive that it would not be in good taste for you to get up and correct the gentlemen who is speaking. There is that spirit of inborn modesty in an American which forbids him to do a thing of that kind. I think that the prodigal son when he returned was receivedjust like this, and all that was said then must have been compliments, and he could not properly respond to them because he knew they were only compliments . However, I have not been like him. I have been setting an example to all peoples as I have been going along. I have been doing good. You haven't mentioned any of these things, so I am without a text. The guest of the evening ought always to sit still until all the other people had had their say, and from listening to them he could get a text, and find out how things stand, and be able to talk back. It is much easier to talk back to abuse than to compliments. We have had a good time these last few days, and I have felt what a good time Christchurch must have been having too. You have never had such opportunities for enlightenment before. You have had the circus. That was spectacular. You have had Mr. Haskett Smith-imagination -and you have had my well beloved friend and shipmate, Michael Davitt-philosophy; and you have had me-eold fact. We are all fading away one by one. Haskett Smith has gone. Michael Davitt has gone. I leave tomorrow, and you have nothing left but the circus. Be grateful for the opportunities you have-hang on to that circus. I observe in this region a spirit which I do greatly approve. That is the spirit which is leading us gradually and surely along to prohibition. I do not see any signs ofit here. It is coming, and let us welcome it. I can tell you...