Mark Twain Speaking

45. Montreal Dinner

MARK TWAIN SPEAKING -45157 In Canada to applyfor Canadian copyright on The Prince and the Pauper, Mark Twain was feted by a group ofparliamentarians, writers and businessmen , characterized by the Montreal Gazette (via Courant, December 13, 1881) as "devoted admirers of a great genius, who sought in a peculiarly English way to evince their appreciation ofhis literary peerage. The gathering was thoroughly representative of the intellectual and commercial greatness of Canada." Dinner Speech Dinnerfor Mark Twain, Windsor Hotel, Montreal, December 8, 1881 That a banquet should be given to me in this ostensibly foreign land and in this great city, and that my ears should be greeted by such complimentary words from such distinguished lips, are eminent surprises to me; and I will not conceal the fact that they are also deeply gratifying. I thank you, one and all, gentlemen, for these marks of favor and friendliness; and even if I have not really or sufficiently deserved them, I assure you that I do not any the less keenly enjoy and esteem them on that account. When a stranger appears abruptly in a country, without any apparent business there, and at an unusual season of the year, the judicious thing for him to do is to explain. This seems peculiarly necessary in my case, on account of a series of unfortunate happenings here, which followed my arrival, and which I suppose the public have felt compelled to connect with that circumstance. I would most gladly explain if I could; but I have nothing for my defense but my bare word; so I simply declare, in all sincerity, and with my hand on my heart, that I never heard ofthat diamond robbery till I saw it in the morning paper; and I can say with perfect truth that I never saw that box of dynamite till the police came to inquire of me if I had any more of it. These are mere assertions, I grant you, but they come from the lips of one who was never known to utter an untruth, except for practice, and who certainly would not so stultify the traditions of an upright life as to 158 MARK TWAIN SPEAKING utter one now, in a strange land, and in such a presence as this, when there is nothing to be gained by it and he does not need any practice. I brought with me to this city a friend-a Boston publisher-but, alas, even this does not sufficiently explain these sinister mysteries; if I had brought a Toronto publisher along the case would have been different . But no, possibly not; the burglar took the diamond studs, but left the shirt; only a reformed Toronto publisher would have left the shirt. To continue my explanation, I did not come to Canada to commit crime-this time-but to prevent it. I came here to place myself under the protection of the Canadian law and secure a copyright. I have complied with the requirements of the law; I have followed the instructions of some of the best legal minds in the city, including my own, and so my errand is accomplished, at least so far as any exertions of mine can aid that accomplishment. This is rather a cumbersome way to fence and fortify one's property against the literary buccaneer, it is true; still, ifit is effective, it is a great advance upon past conditions, and one to be correspondingly welcomed. It makes one hope and believe that a day will come when, in the eye ofthe law, literary property will be as sacred as whiskey, or any other of the necessaries of life. In this age of ours, if you steal another man's label to advertise your own brand of whiskey with, you will be heavily fined and otherwise punished for violating that trademark; ifyou steal the whiskey without the trademark, you go to jail; but if you could prove that the whiskey was literature, you can steal them both, and the law wouldn't say a word. It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for literature ifa body could only get drunk on it. Still the world moves; the interests of literature upon our continent are improving; let us be content and wait. We have with us here a fellow craftsman, born on our own side of the Atlantic, who has created an epoch in this continent's literary history-an author who...