Mark Twain Speaking

17. Meeting of Americans

74 MARK TWAIN SPEAKING Text / Composite, based upon: "On Stanley and Livingstone," MTS(10): 154-56; MTS(23): 133-34; San Jose, California, Mercury, October 10, 1872. Dr. Livingstone / David Livingstone (1813-73). He was a Scottish missionary and traveler who made explorations in Africa. Stanley / Henry Morton Stanley (1841-1904). British explorer. He accompanied the British expedition to Abyssinia (1868) as correspondent for the New YorkHerald. In 1869 Gordon Bennett, of the Herald, commissioned him to find Dr. Livingstone, who had set out to explore the lake region of South Africa, but had not been heard from for three years. After finding Livingstone at Ujiji, Stanley was honored by Queen Victoria, although his story, How I Found Livingstone (1871), was skeptically received in England. Royal Geographic Society / A satirical allusion to Stanley's cool reception in England and his failure to conciliate the president of the Royal Geographic Society. snuff box / Queen Victoria's gift to Stanley was a gold snuff box set with brilliants.· 17· In November 1872, Mark Twain, announcing that he had been called home, sailed for America where he spent the winter. In May 1873, returning to England with hisfamily, he plunged again into the social whirl ofluncheons, teas and banquets, adding to his list ofdistinguished acquaintances such notable Englishmen as Herbert Spencer, Wilkie Collins, SirJohn Millais, andAnthony Trollope. Again he was called upon to respond to toasts at dinners. After-Dinner Speech Meeting ofAmericans, London, July 4, 1873 Mr. Chairman and ladies and gentlemen: I thank you for the compliment which has just been tendered me, and to show my appreciation ofit I will not afflict you with many words. It is pleasant to celebrate in this peaceful way, upon this old mother soil, the anniversary of an experiment which was born of war with this same land so long MARK TWAIN SPEAKING 75 ago, and wrought out to a successful issue by the devotion of our ancestors. It has taken nearly a hundred years to bring the English and Americans into kindly and mutually appreciative relations, but I believe it has been accomplished at last. It was a great step when the two last misunderstandings were settled by arbitration instead of cannon. It is another great step when England adopts our sewing machines without claiming the invention-as usual. It was another when they imported one of our sleeping cars the other day. And it warmed my heart more than I can tell, yesterday, when I witnessed the spectacle of an Englishman ordering an American sherry cobbler of his own free will and accord-and not only that, but with a great brain and level head, reminding the barkeeper not to forget the strawberries . With a common origin, a common literature, a common religion and common drinks, what is longer needful to the cementing of the two nations together in a permanent bond of brotherhood? This is an age of progress, and ours is a progressive land. A great and glorious land, too-a land which has developed a Washington, a Franklin, a William M. Tweed, a Longfellow, a Motley, aJay Gould, a Samuel C. Pomeroy, a recent Congress which has never had its equal-(in some respects) and a United States Army which conquered sixty Indians in eight months by tiring them out-which is much better than uncivilized slaughter, God knows. We have a criminaljury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read. And I may observe that we have an insanity plea that would have saved Cain. I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than any in the world. I refer with effusion to our railway system, which consents to let us live, though it might do the opposite, being our owners. It only destroyed 3,070 lives last year by collisions, and 27,260 by running over heedless and unnecessary people at crossings. The companies seriously regretted the killing of these 30,000 people, and went so far as to pay for some of them-voluntarily, of course, for the meanest of us would not claim that we possess a court treacherous enough to enforce a law against a railway company. But thank heaven the railway companies are generally disposed to do the right and kindly thing without compulsion. I know of an...