Mark Twain Speaking

160. Interview

530 MARK TWAIN SPEAKING -160Mark Twain went to Washington to deliver opinions once again to a congressional committee on the perennial subject ofcopyright. In early winter, the city shivering in blustery December weather, he startled the natives by wearing a suit ofimmaculate whiteflannel. Before being called by the committee, he was briefly a conspicuous figure in the House gallery, then a center of attraction in the Speaker's room, congressmen deserting thefloor in numbers to be entertained by his drawling remarks. He was naturally pursued by reporters, who scarcely needed to ask a question to get him started. Interview Washington, D.C., December 7,1906 I suppose everyone is wondering why I am wearing such apparently unseasonable clothes. I'll tell you. This is a uniform. It is the uniform of the American Association of Purity and Perfection, of which I am president, secretary and treasurer, and the only man in the United States eligible to membership. I was seventy-one years old last Saturday, and when a man reaches that age he has a right to arrogate to himself many privileges to which younger men cannot aspire. When you are over seventy-one you are privileged to dress in the fashion that conforms most to your comfort and enjoyment. I have reached the age where dark clothes have a depressing effect on me. Light-colored clothing is more pleasant to the eye and enlivens the spirit. Now, of course, I cannot compel everyone to wear such clothingjust for my especial benefit, so I do the next best thing and wear it myself. Of course, before a man reaches my years, the fear of criticism might prevent him from indulging his fancy. I am not afraid of that. I prefer light clothing, colors, like those worn by the ladies at the opera. Whenever I go to the opera and see the men sitting around with those beautifully gowned ladies they are no more cheering than a lot of old crows. If nobody else will wear colors that cheer me up I shall wear them myself. Men's clothing is bad in color and generally uncomfortable . MARK TWAIN SPEAKING 531 After all, what is the purpose of clothing? Are not clothes intended primarily to preserve dignity and also to afford comfort to the wearer? The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than that. The best-dressed man I have ever seen, however, was a native of the Sandwich Islands, who attracted my attention forty years ago. Now, when that man wanted to don especial dress to honor a public occasion or holiday, why he occasionally put on a pair of spectacles. Otherwise the clothing with which God had provided him sufficed. Clothes, in our modern civilization, are to preserve decency, and for us to get as much comfort out of as possible. But how any man can get comfort out of the clothing made for men today I cannot see. Nothing is more absurd, ungraceful and uncomfortable than modern man's clothing, day or night, and at night man wears the most ridiculous of all garbs--evening clothes. What can be more depressing than the somber black which custom requires me to wear on state occasions. Of course, I have ideas of dress reform. For one thing, why not adopt some of the women's styles? Goodness knows, they adopt enough of ours. Why should we not learn from them? They always have beautiful fabrics, splendid colors, and, moreover, women's clothes are always pretty. Take the peek-a-boo waist, for instance. It has the obvious advantages of being cool and comfortable, and in addition it is almost always made up in pleasing colors, which cheer and do not depress. I would go back to the Middle Ages for the gorgeous, glorious, gaudy costumes of that time. Then we could wear colors. Back to the days before buttons were invented, when they laced their clothing up, and it took a little time to do it; back to the days of tights and helmet! Yes, I admit that it might be uncomfortable for a bald-headed man wearing a tightly screwed-on helmet, with a bee or fly imprisoned therein. It is true that I dressed the Connecticut Yankee at King Arthur's court in a plug hat, but, let's see, that was twenty-five years ago. Then no man was considered fully dressed until he donned a plug hat...