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MARK TWAIN SPEAKING· 156 · 519 Marshalingforcesfor the relief of devastated San Francisco, women ofNew York swung into action at once. Two leaders were Mrs. W. K. Vanderbilt and Mrs. Herman Oelrichs, and for spokesman a natural choice was Mark Twain. Remarks as Presiding Officer San Francisco ReliefMeeting, Casino, New York, April 21, 1906 We must not let our minds dwell upon the dead. After life's fitful fever they rest well. Our sorrows and our sympathies are for the living, suffering thousands. The last time I saw San Francisco was thirty-eight years ago. It was then my home. It is your home, too, and every sentiment endears it to us. Forty-eight hours ago I pledged myself not to speak to any audience that paid to get in. However, you didn't pay to get in here; you're going to pay to get out. This earthquake and fire transcends anything in human history, ancient or modern, but the same energy that built San Francisco in fifty years to be destroyed in a day, will build it again. Everybody is in a mood to contribute, from the hands of poverty up to those of the millionaire. But it is the poor man that gives most. The Salvation Army is the best means I know of to do this work. They are of the poor, and they know how to reach the poor. I have seen their work all over the world-always good. Food can and will be carried to the sufferers at once. What they need is covering. We want a committee of women to go to the mayor and say: "Give us some of this money that has been subscribed, and we will buy clothes and bedding for the people who have none, and do it now." [After the audience had cheered the reading ofa telegram to be sent to San Francisco, Mark Twain spoke again briefly.] Before you give your cheers for the Californians, I hope you'll include the doctors who have done such noble service in the afflicted 520 MARK TWAIN SPEAKING district. I don't like doctors on general principles, but those men out there have done some great work. Put the firemen and the soldiers in, too. Text / "California's Women Here are Going to Aid / Twain Presides at Meeting," Times, April 22, 1906. After life's fitful fever / A slight misquotation from Macbeth (3.2) of Macbeth's somber reflections on his murder ofthe King: "Duncan is in his grave; / After life's fitful fever he sleeps well! / Treason has done his worst; nor steel 'nor poison, / Malice domestic, foreign levy, nothing / Can touch him further." -157An international billiards tournament in New York attracted the world's best players: the French champion, Louis Cure, and American experts Ora Morningstar , Jacob Schaeffer, George F. Slosson, George Sutton, and William F. "Willie" Hoppe, the Boy Wonder. Mark Twain, a tireless billiards addict, was there with Henry Rogers on the opening night, April 9. Later, when the billiardists gave an exhibition oftrick shots andfancy cue workfor the benefit of San Francisco, he came again, and this time told a story. Story Billiards Exhibition Concert Hall, Madison Square Garden, New York, April 24, 1906 The game of billiards has destroyed my naturally sweet disposition. Once, when I was an underpaid reporter in Virginia City, whenever I wished to play billiards I went out to look for an easy mark. One day a stranger came to town and opened a billiard parlor. I looked him over casually. When he proposed a game, I answered, "All right." "Just knock the balls around a little so that I can get your gait," he said; and when I had done so, he remarked, "I will be perfectly fair ...

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