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482 MARK TWAIN SPEAKING John Fiske / (1842-1901). American philosopher and historian. Lecturer on philosophy at Harvard (1869-71), and assistant college librarian (1872-79), he wrote voluminously on history and philosophy . An interpreter rather than an original thinker, he was a valuable expositor and popularizer. His most important philosophical work is Outlines ofCosmic Philosophy (1874). On American history he published, among others, The Critical Period ofAmerican History, 1783-1789 (1888), and The American Revolution (1891). Washington / Booker Taliafero Washington (1856-1915). American educator. Born in a slave cabin, growing up determined to get an education, he entered Hampton Normal and Agricultural Institute (1872), where he paid his way by working as ajanitor. A teacher by 1875, he was on the Hampton staff (1879), then became head ofa new Negro school at Tuskegee, Alabama. It had neither money nor equipment. He built up the institution by enlisting the aid of well-wishers and millionaires: Peabody, Ogden, Rockefeller, Mackay , Carnegie, and others. Washington told his remarkable story in Up From Slavery (1901). - 146A dinner of the American branch of the Dickens Fellowship celebrated the ninetylourth anniversary of the birth of Charles Dickens. Mark Twain was there, but not necessarily as an admirer ofDickens. Indeed, his mostfrequently cited remark about the novelist is that he could neverfind anything humorous in Pickwick Papers. In his dinner speech, however, he did not bring up the subject ofDickens. Dinner Speech Manhattan Dickens Fellowship Dinner, Press Club, New York, February 7,1906 I always had taken an interest in young people who wanted to become poets. I remember I was particularly interested in one budding poet when I was a reporter. His name was Butter. One day he came to me and said, disconsolately, that he was going to MARK TWAIN SPEAKING 483 commit suicide-he was tired of life, not being able to express his thoughts in poetic form. Butter asked me what I thought of the idea. I said I would; that it was good idea. "You can do me a friendly turn. You go off in a private place and do it there, and I'll get it all. You do it, and I'll do as much for you some time." At first he determined to drown himself. Drowning is so nice and clean, and writes up so well in a newspaper. But things ne'er do go smoothly in weddings, suicides, or courtships. Only there at the edge of the water, where Butter was to end himself, lay a life preserver-a big round canvas one, which would float after the scrap iron was soaked out of it. Butter wouldn't kill himself with the life preserver in sight, and so I had an idea. I took it to a pawnshop, and soaked it for a revolver. The pawnbroker didn't think much of the exchange, but when I explained the situation he acquiesced. We went up on top ofa high building, and this is what happened to the poet: He put the revolver to his forehead and blew a tunnel straight through his head. The tunnel was about the size of your finger. You could look right through it. The job was complete; there was nothing in it. Well, after that that man could never write prose, but he could write poetry. He could write it after he had blown his brains out. There is lots of that talent all over the country, but the trouble is they don't develop it. I am suffering now from the fact that I, who have told the truth a good many times in my life, have lately received more letters than anybody else urging me to lead a righteous life. I have more friends who want to see me develop on a high level than anybody else. YoungJohn D. Rockefeller, two weeks ago, taught his Bible class all about veracity, and why it was better that everybody should always keep a plentiful supply on hand. Some of the letters I have received suggest that I ought to attend his class and learn, too. Why, I know Mr. Rockefeller, and he is a good fellow. He is competent in many ways to teach a Bible class, but when it comes to veracity he is only thirty-five years old. I'm seventy years old. I have been familiar with veracity twice as long as he. And the story about George Washington and his little hatchet has also been suggested to me in these...

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