The Life of Saint Margaret of Cortona

Chapter 10 - Her Indescribable Fear Concerning All That She Bore, and Her Desire for Her Death

chaPTer 10 her indescriBaBLe fear concerning aLL ThaT she Bore, and her desire for her deaTh 1. Our Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, was on very familiar terms with the servant of God, Margaret. He revealed to her in full confidence which creatures, invisible or human, would have to suffer (by being ill or in some other way), and which would receive graces and consolations. After such familiar conversations with the Lord, Margaret would depart, aglow with the fire of celestial love; she could not conceal the ineffable divine sweetness inside her. She cried out: “Your colloquies are so indescribable that nothing else can possibly fill my soul. It is astonishing to me that souls, which you have created for redemption do not love and embrace you alone, and that they are able to love or admire any created thing.” It seemed to Margaret that her soul was a field of thorn bushes and wild plants; actually it was more like a blooming flower garden. The comforter of the deserving led her to the hilltop of hope, saying: “Do not fret, my daughter, if your desires are not fulfilled. Trust in me and wait for me in the mental quiet of my piety. More worthy are you for desiring me exclusively, and I will give you greater consolation after this wait than if you immediately found what you asked for.” 2. On the Saturday of the First Sunday of Lent, after receiving the Body of Christ, the divine disposition removed the marvelous sweetness which had filled her soul. Margaret The Life and Miracles of Saint Margaret of Cortona 282 turned to her whose mercy helps those in need: “My Lady, your Son, the spouse of my soul, has abandoned me. Without him I cannot live or find rest.” While she was crying and calling upon the Son of God, she who is the mirror of piety condescended to listen to her prayers, and grant her the gift of her loving Son. And the Lord, who looks favorably upon those who see with the eyes of faith, returned her longing with an admirable sweetness: “Do you believe that I am Jesus Christ, the true Son of God?” Margaret: “Yes, Lord, I confess that you are the Son of the living God. I wait for you and long for you with all my heart!” The Lord:“I, the Son of the Virgin Mary according to the flesh, am with you. Together with the eternal Father, I, his only Son, bless you. Follow the way of life and the law I have given you. Never forget to do this! If at times my rays of light seem hidden inside you, or if you cannot taste my sweetness as much as you would like, this is so that you may discern what you are of yourself, apart from the highest and infinite joy. When I make myself known to you abundantly, then you will find out infallibly how great and how bright you are made by me, Christ. Have faith in me, for I am always with you, and will never desert you, however far away I may seem. Who has given this insatiable thirst you have for me, if not myself, the eternal fountain which refreshes the angels and saints, and which lives within your soul? If you did not have me, you would not thirst for me, and in your thirst your merit and grace increase. Please stop complaining about the discomfort this thirst causes you.” A short time before this, Margaret was rapt in ecstasy contemplating God. So oblivious was she to anything else that she did not feel a piece of burning wood that had fallen on her foot. Indeed her foot was not even singed. 3. On the Third Sunday of Lent, while she was receiving the Body of Christ, Margaret was enlightened by Christ who said: “Daughter, do you love me?” The humble Margaret answered: “My Lord, I respond as did your apostle Peter: ‘You know that I love you.’” The Lord: “I bless you. Know that in Her Indescribable Fear Concerning All That She Bore 283 this way I made you like me, which should please you. Just as I have sought you by means of anguish and pain, you will search for and find me in the midst of many tribulations. You would like always to enjoy my consolations and spiritual joy...