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308 elena Pat Mora My Spanish isn’t enough. I remember how I’d smile listening to my little ones, understanding every word they’d say, their jokes, their songs, their plots. Vamos a pedirle dulces a mamá. Vamos. But that was in Mexico. Now my children go to American high schools. They speak English. At night they sit around the kitchen table, laugh with one another. I stand by the stove and feel dumb, alone. I bought a book to learn English My husband frowned, drank more beer. My oldest said, “Mamá, he doesn’t want you to be smarter than he is.” I’m forty, embarrassed at mispronouncing words, embarrassed at the laughter of my children, the grocer, the mailman. Sometimes I take my English book and lock myself in the bathroom, say the thick words softly, for if I stop trying, I will be deaf when my children need my help. Reprinted from Chants (Arte Público Press-University of Houston, 1984). ...

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