A Typology of Domestic Violence: Intimate Terrorism, Violent Resistance, and Situational Couple Violence

1: Control and Violence in Intimate Relationships

One woman we interviewed told us that she was first beaten on her honeymoon and when she cried and protested, her husband replied, “I married you so I own you.”1 In order to understand the nature of an individual’s use of violence in an intimate relationship, you have to understand its role in the general control dynamics of that relationship. Some people use violence as one of many tactics in a general strategy aimed at taking complete control over their partner, as in the case of the newlywed husband quoted above. Others may become violent in order to resist their partner’s attempts to control them. For still others, their violent behavior may have little to do with control. In this chapter I will distinguish among four types of intimate partner violence that are defined by the extent to which the perpetrator and his or her partner use violence in order to attempt to control the relationship. The four types constitute a typology of individual violence that is rooted in information about the couple and defined by the control context within which the violence is embedded (figure 1). In intimate terrorism, the perpetrator uses violence in the service of general control over his or her partner; the partner does not. In violent resistance, the partner is violent and controlling—an intimate terrorist—and the resister’s violence arises in reaction to that attempt to exert general control.2 In mutual violent control, both members of the couple use violence in attempts to gain general control over their partner. Thus, three of the four types of intimate partner violence are organized around attempts to exert or thwart general control . In the fourth type of intimate partner violence, situational couple violence, the perpetrator is violent (and his or her partner may be as well); however, neither of them uses violence to attempt to exert general control. The control that forms the basis of this typology of intimate partner violence and is the defining feature of intimate terrorism, is more than the specific, Control and Violence in Intimate Relationships 1 short-term control that is often the goal of violence in other contexts. The mugger wants to control you only briefly in order to take your valuables and move on, hopefully never to see you again. In contrast, the control sought in intimate terrorism is general and long term. Although each particular act of intimate violence may appear to have any number of short-term, specific goals, it is embedded in a larger pattern of power and control that permeates the relationship. This is the violence employed by the newlywed batterer quoted above, who sees his behavior as the embodiment of his “ownership” of his partner. The core idea of this book is that this “intimate terrorism”—violence deployed in the service of general control over one’s partner—is quite a different phenomenon than violence that is not motivated by an interest in exerting general control over one’s partner. I would argue, also, that intimate terrorism is what most of us mean by “domestic violence.” This is the violence that has received massive media attention, and that has been the focus of thirty years of feminist activism and research in the United States. 6 a typology of domestic violence Figure 1. Types of Domestic Violence Intimate Terrorism The individual is violent and controlling. The partner is not. Violent Resistance It is the partner who is violent and controlling. The individual is violent, but not controlling. Situational Couple Violence Although the individual is violent, neither partner is both violent and controlling. Mutual Violent Resistance Both individual and partner are violent and controlling. Intimate Terrorism and Other Types of Partner Violence intimate terrorism Our discussion of the four types of partner violence begins with intimate terrorism because it involves the general exercise of coercive control that is the heart of the distinctions posed here. Figure 2 is a widely used graphical representation of partner violence deployed in the service of general control. This diagram and the understanding of domestic violence that lies behind it were developed over a period of years from the testimony of battered women in the Duluth, Minnesota, area, testimony that convinced the staff of the Duluth control and violence in intimate relationships 7 Figure 2. The Power and Control Wheel Source: Adapted from Ellen Pence and Michael Paymar, Education...