Trauma and Transformation at Ground Zero: A Pastoral Theology

4. Life-Giving

144 chapter 4 Life-Giving The Transforming Space Vespers In the artificial clarity of mercury vapor lights Noisy whirling orange machines with black claws reach out and worry at the wreckage of the site. The scale of devastation is wide and open with the weight of what was landmarked free against the sky blue then black for towers of lights guiding us all night and all day now at our feet underneath us where we saw all the city beneath our feet now under my feet is steel, powder, dirt, bodies of thousands; wide and open to night sky. Vast. And still. Except the grapplers which, constant motion, muted against the enormity, are not heard. A noise: rushing metal down a building on the perimeter. Heads turn instantly Assessing, monitoring, and turn back to wreckage below us. At the ramp’s base: two Stokes litters hold black bags partially filled. One open and then bagged to cover what’s inside. Men in brown overalls Firefighters, resolved and resolute uncover their heads. Machinery stopped so prayers can be heard in the clarity of stillness of night in the great hush of space. Facing the bags; strong men circle around me, I pray. 145 Life-Giving: The Transforming Space I pray for their souls, that they may be at rest. Give thanks, that their bodies have been found. For their families, that anxiety may be stilled. For the men around me. That they may continue. And bless them all. The words that I have do not express the gratitude for the effort of finding these bodies, Or the goodness of all the men and women who serve here. Or for being present in the very best of what humans can do, or how humble I feel at this altar in front of me and how I belong. Right here.1 What was life giving at Ground Zero were those moments and relationships that we all need in pastoral ministry, whether as clergy or laity: that sense of community with one another and that sense of communion with God whose presence we seek to make present in our presence. The community at Ground Zero had multiple cultures, each with its own politics and the tensions between them, but it had a sense of mission that held people together for the most part and invited the chaplains into collegial, transformative relationship with firefighters, police, EMTs, and construction workers. As noted in the previous chapter, in the face of the worst that humanity can do, the chaplains by and large felt an enormous gratitude “for being present in the very best of what humans can do.”2 The Rev. Thomas Faulkner, an Episcopal priest, who became the assistant officer for the American Red Cross overseeing the screening, scheduling, and deployment of chaplains at the T. Mort., described the experience in this way: We became a community of clergy who knew what we were doing. We all knew that when we were at an examination table with remains, some of which could be very disturbing and rank in terms of smell, we were dealing with the wild emotions of ourselves and other people gathered with us. We were dealing with an horrific disaster site. We were dealing with the glory of people working together and being together as God’s children. We were empowered by God’s spirit; we felt that we absolutely knew that this was sacred space. We all have our defenses, our ways of protecting ourselves. We put up Trauma and Transformation at Ground Zero 146 these defenses and that really keeps us in a safe secure controlled environment. What a disaster does, is it throws you up against a terrible reality and the defenses start to break down. All of a sudden there is a little opening. Prejudices break down, priorities change because you’re up against this disaster. At that moment, there’s the possibility for God to enter in, in remarkable ways, and there’s a way for other people to enter in and fear to enter into the large love of people. There are remarkable moments of transformation.3 In what Faulkner describes as the “sacred space” of Ground Zero, we can see the relationship between those inner and outer spaces that have been described in the last two chapters as “Holding” and “Suffering” spaces. The space of “transformation ” is not disconnected from those former spaces—either...