Growing Up Amish: The Rumspringa Years

Chapter Three: Adolescence: Building an Amish Identity

[ Chapter Three { Adolescence Building an Amish Identity It’s a mistake for parents to think they can teach their children right and wrong when they turn sixteen. You have to start when they are in diapers. —Amish father Identity and Autonomy When I began my study of Amish youth and the Internet, especially their involvement with Facebook, I had the challenge of discerning , from among those who were current rumspringa Amish, those who grew up in Amish homes but were on their way out or had already left, and those who had a distant Amish heritage but had nothing left but names in past community directories or in the “Fisher Book” (the unofficial Lancaster County genealogical guide) to trace their connections.1 With few exceptions, especially in the largest Indiana and Ohio settlements, youthful Facebook profile pictures were of little help to me. They were virtually interchangeable with profile shots of students from the college where I teach. Haircuts, attire, and reported activities also provided no hints. This left me with the challenge of determining who were and who were not Amish. Occasionally 48 [ Growing Up Amish { a young person would leave a helpful clue, such as entering “Amish” as a religious category or listing “Amish parties” under “Likes.” Although such evidence was circumstantial, it proved to be accurate enough to be a good starting point in seeking the specific backgrounds of these Facebook youth. The task of Amish youth—at either end of the rumspringa spectrum—in attaining their psychological identity is more difficult than was my task of determining who was or was not Amish. Although few in the culture might articulate the importance of identity formation for their children and youth, virtually all correctly discern that the establishment of an Amish identity is crucial for the retention of their young and the continuation of their society. In the same way, most developmental psychologists contend that attaining a clear identity is a crucial adolescent developmental task. The Amish tendency is to regard identity as one’s literal place in both an extended family and the community, while psychologists focus on those attributes and choices that make an individual unique and provide the sense of self that distinguishes him or her from everybody else.2 Erik Erikson, the most influential psychologist in identity theory, contends that the resolution of identity is a universal psychosocial crisis for adolescents. If they resolve the crisis successfully, they will attain what psychologists call an achieved identity and have a focused life.3 If they do not resolve it, they will most likely flounder in a state of identity confusion or diffusion. Fear, withdrawal, and hedonism impede the formation of a positive identity. James Marcia argues that the key to successful identity resolution hinges first on exploring one’s options and subsequently choosing—or failing to choose—among them.4 In both theories, the importance of struggling with alternatives and making one’s selections is central in achieving an authentic identity. Identity theorists almost universally discuss this concept in the context of an individualistic, pluralistic society. They focus on “self” issues, such as self-esteem, self-concept, and self-efficacy—important subjects in mainstream American culture. In contrast, the Amish always think in terms of a web of relationships, rather than a complex stage of development or words beginning with the hyphenated “self-” prefix. Also when the Amish think about a person’s identity, they are more likely to be picturing a plural rather than a singular context. They connect [ Adolescence: Building an Amish Identity { 49 someone to his or her place within an extended family that reaches back for generations. It is not uncommon to hear an Amish man inquire, “How is Bill Joe Josie’s Junior getting along?” Newlyweds Samuel Stoltzfus and Rebecca Lapp are “Caleb’s Elam’s Samuel” (grandfather-father-son), and “Daniel’s Reuben’s Rebecca” (her paternal lineage). In a society that seeks to know both families’ members and stories, weddings unite two families and their histories forever, every bit as much as they join two individuals. An example of what Pauline Stevick calls “the web of relationships” comes from a scribe’s letter in the 9 August 2000 issue of the weekly newspaper Die Botschaft (Message): “We extend our sympathy to the Jake Smucker family. Jake died suddenly July 28. Jake served as preacher for 42...