The Unchosen Me: Race, Gender, and Identity among Black Women in College

7. Learning to Be a “Good Woman”: Interpreting Womanhood through Race

c h a p t e r s e v e n It’s like as a Black woman we got a double whammy. Because to be a woman that is one thing, and then be a Black [emphasis] woman on top of it. I feel like to overturn that, you do have to be a little bit more than everybody else. —Michelle, first-generation senior health and recreation major Race was gendered, and gender was racialized, as African American women negotiated the predominantly White campus. The categories of race and gender— and arguably class as well, given that the majority of the women self-identified as low-income and/or first-generation college students—intersect so completely that it was not possible for the women to explore their gendered experiences without linking these experiences to race. Michelle’s assertion that as a Black woman she must work harder than others because she has a “double whammy” refers to a sense that she must grapple simultaneously with impositions due to her race and her sex. The “double whammy” of Black womanhood is not necessarily new. But remarkably, it is still alive and well on predominantly White campuses today. Gender was depicted by the women in this study within the boundaries of a continuum between being a “good woman” and a “bad woman,” referencing particular gender-related norms on campus.1 Being a “good woman” meant demonstrating particular traits: silence, passivity, and caring. These characteristics Learning to Be a “Good Woman” Interpreting Womanhood through Race l e a r n i n g t o b e a “g o o d w o m a n ” 115 were at times directly contradictory to the individualistic structures of formal higher education, where judgments of one’s intellect are often related to one’s ability to assertively voice opinions. Thus, African American women experienced gender as negotiating between their desire to be accepted as a “good woman” both by their peers on campus and by the larger society, yet also grappling with their own sometimes conflicting notions of strength and womanhood . Here, I explore the way women learned to be a “good woman” on campus, particularly exploring the issue of silencing that occurred as women learned this lesson. Then, we listen in as the women grapple with their notions of being a “good wife” and the way this influences their romantic relationships on campus. Table 7.1 provides a depiction of the way these gendered norms were experienced as imposed on the women. learning to be a “good woman” on campus Learning to be a “good woman” was experienced as imposed both internally and externally. Up to this point, the “mainstream” has referred to the White predominance on campus. In this chapter, the mainstream refers both to the White predominance on campus and to the way in which many social institutions, including education, were historically (and are perhaps currently) constructed for White males. The “maleness” on campus, or the subtle and overt privileging of males/men and those ways of thinking or being associated with being male, worked to create a definition of womanhood. Specifically, the maleness of campus created a notion of “good”/“bad” womanhood in much the same way that Whiteness perpetuated a construction of race around being “too White” or “too Black.” The notion of “good” womanhood was associated with displaying particular traits that were largely decided for the women by others (e.g., peers, family, table 7.1 Learning to be a “Good Woman” on Campus Type of Imposition Source of Imposition Learning to be a “good woman” on campus Internal and External Majority groups and Minority groups Silencing the strength: A “good woman” is silent, passive, and caring Internal and External Majority groups and Minority groups (secondary source) Learning to be a “good wife”: Romantic relationships on campus Internal and External Majority groups and Minority groups 116 t h e u n c h o s e n m e the larger institution).2 Silence and passivity were often put into direct conflict with demonstrating intelligence on campus. Caring was indirectly contradictory to being smart, in that the women sometimes felt pressured to spend more time caring for others (e.g., family, friends, all others before oneself ) than they did on their studies. In some instances, the time consumed by caring for others tended to distract from academics. The...