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The Good Hmong Girl Eats Raw Laab Ka Vang In this chapter, I will examine social and cultural implications of “a good Hmong girl” by addressing these questions: What does it mean to be a good Hmong girl or a bad Hmong girl? Who defines the good Hmong girl? Who practices it and enforces the rules? Moreover, what are the rewards and consequences for the Hmong girl and her family if she is not a good Hmong girl? Finally, would Hmong culture be diminished if there were no more good Hmong girls left? The kitchen is buzzing with the sounds of plates being stacked, forks and spoons being polished, and ladles scooping soup made with mustard greens and freshly slaughtered pork into bowls. Gao Nou releases a warm puff of breath onto the back of a spoon, making it moist so she can polish it. On the back of the spotless spoon, the young girl sees the reflection of women behaving like bees, each with a sense of purpose and determination. Her mother, who is hosting the ua neeb feast, shouts at her, “Just don’t stand there!BeagoodHmonggirlandstartsettingthetable.Themenarehungry.” Gao Nou nods obediently as she silently contemplates the idea of a good Hmong girl. Lately, her mother has been directing the phrase at her, beginning and ending each sentence with “good Hmong girl”: “Make sure you have dinner ready by the time your father and I get home from work because that is what good Hmong girls do!” “Good Hmong girls do not talk on the phone with boys. It makes them appear loose!” “Ifyouwantto beagoodHmonggirlandhave agood Hmonglife,then do not comb your hair when it is wet after dark because you will not find a man to love you.” “Good Hmong girls do not stay after school to play volleyball. There are men lurking in the gym and hallways who will suck your sweet nectar dry so you are no longer a fresh flower!” Ka Vang “Gao Nou!” yells her mother, snapping her out of her daydream. “Your younger sister is already setting the table for the men; make sure you remember to serve both the raw laab and the cooked laab.” Once again GaoNounodsobediently.Shelovesrawbeeflaab andcannotwaittosavor the gritty rice powder, hot peppers, cilantro, and green onions mixed into the minced beef and chopped tripe. Cooked laab holds back the flavors of the dish, Gao Nou thinks to herself as she slowly and diligently scoops the raw laab onto plates to be put on the table. Three metal folding tables are set end-to-end so as to make one long table with fifty chairs intrusively pushed against it. As though Aunt Blia and her daughters have sonar telling them the laab is ready, the women appear out of nowhere and gather the laab plates to set on the table. But no one can see the cheap, pressed wooden tops underneath the plastic table cover that has been taped tightly underneath. Her mother hisses, “You are moving too slowly! Aunt Blia’s good daughters have already set the table.” Hermotherisright.Thetableissetwithsteamingjasminerice,mustard greens and pork belly soup, chicken and bamboo soup, crispy fried pork, raw and cooked laab, and stir-fried mustard greens and hot pepper sauce. The elder men and married men sit at the table. A raisin-faced shaman sits next to Gao Nou’s father at the center of the table. Before the ua neeb meal can begin, her father, brothers, and uncles together thank the shaman for his services for her younger brother who had been ill. The men pe to show their gratitude. To pe, they bow their heads, swinging their clasped hands toward the shaman while reciting words of appreciation before kowtowing onto their knees. Following these formalities, the father chooses two men to oversee the toasting and feasting, considered the culmination of a communal gathering that begins with the arrival of the txiv neeb in the early hours of the morning. Such lengthy preparations testify to the commitment of Hmong American women to their families. For important ceremonies, such as a neeb khu (a performance considered essential by Hmong Americans following a serious illness), two to four rounds of alcohol (served in two-, four-, or six-ounce wine glasses depending on the preference of the father and the two men overseeing the toasting) are typically poured before their meal is over. At the onset of the first round, people at the table are instructed to begin eating. The toasting at this...

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