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117 chapter ten Hope and Hard Work Back when Nelson Mandela was released in 1990, I was aware that people in my community viewed me as a leader, as a source of good counsel, and as someone to be trusted. I was someone they consulted with on a number of issues, aside from U.S. policy towards South Africa. For example, Bishop Wells, leader of the Albina Ministerial Alliance (and lead/founding pastor at Emanuel Temple Church of God in Christ), would call on me about issues in the community. I can vividly remember a woman who worked with the state employment agency with whom we sat for a long time to come up with a strategy to help her stay in her job. Ronnie, Rev. Jackson, and Rev. Garlington (but especially Ronnie) regularly called on me to participate in significant decisions, discussion sessions, and press conferences. In these meetings I was always aware, looking around the table, of being if not the only woman, maybe one of two or three women. Depending on the issue, some other women consulted included Karen Powell, Jean Vessup, Charlotte Rutherford, Edna Robertson, Mrs. Vesia Loving, or Mrs. Bobbi Gary. My awareness of this imbalance produced an ongoing consciousness in my work. I was very conscious of not allowing myself to be put in the position of being the note taker or the one who would wind up with more than my share of the work. Halim Rahsaan liked to write and was often the one who said: “Maybe we need to write a letter …” about this or that. In my mind, I’d think: “That’s good. Let the guys have a share of the work.” It is important for me to make the point that I did and still do support advancing effective African American male leadership. It is so important to have these positive, powerful images successfully confronting injustice before our children. We always, always need a counter to the pervasive images that emasculate Black men in Portland, Oregon, and elsewhere. So therein lies the tension, sometimes, between affirming 118 male leadership and Black women asserting their leadership and having it affirmed. Sharing power and labor was negotiated informally in community settings, both within and outside the Black United Front. There were times, for example, when Ronnie couldn’t chair meetings or facilitate, so he would ask me to do that. There were other men who could have taken on the role but he asked me, so I took the requests as a statement about trust. It was also a statement about my capacity to be effective and I got a reputation of getting things done. People let me know that they appreciated how I moved things along without a heavy hand and how I made sure everybody had a voice. People left meetings feeling good, like something had been accomplished. As my skills developed, I was being affirmed and acknowledged. Accepting my own skills and power had its challenges. At one press conference in particular, a picture really told the story. I was asked to participate in this media event but I was trying not to be on stage and it shows. The photograph is of Garlington, Jackson, and Herndon but I’m pulling myself back, out of the picture. There were four seats at the table but I was literally pulling myself back; like I just wanted to be in the background. When I think back on that picture, I remember wondering: “Why am I pulling myself back?” At the time, I didn’t have an answer. A few years later, another picture appeared in The Oregonian, in the Metro Section. We were confronting then-mayor Bud Clark about affirmative action. In this scenario—Ronnie was there—I’m very much present and very much on board. I even remember that I had a suit on! I was dressed for battle, though my preferred dress is casual. (I’ve had folks give me suits to wear at different times, a not so subtle commentary on my preferred attire!) With Mayor Clark, Ronnie and I were on purpose, we were being taken seriously, and I’m not holding back. In the other picture I’m holding back. In those same years I have a strong memory of my mom and her pride. I remember her being very proud of the work of the Black United Front. She was a reader, so she read the community newspapers papers like The Skanner...

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