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IV February-May, 1938 From Teruel to the Ebro Whatever revolutionary ardor was left in me evaporated rapidly during that ride in the ambulance. For several hours, mostly in the dark, as we bumped along the rough roads and rougher tracks, I tried to keep on my right side of the narrow bunk. But my curses were many and varied as, too frequently, I was thrown around, falling on my back so that I yelled with the pain from my backside or, worse still, came down on my left side and the ill-fitting splint on my arm fell off. I was most unhappy. There were three of us. A young Spanish comrade lay motionless on the lower bunk opposite me, another squatted on the upper berth. One of my involuntary bounces brought my face a foot or so from the lad below, and at once I determined that if it was too much to expect me to forego my self-pity, I wouldn't let it be so very obvious. Faced with the dreadful stomach wound of my companion, I could at least try to suffer in silence-or as near to that as was reasonable in the circumstances. Above, the somewhat older man, a bullet through the calf of one leg, sat shivering with cold as he clutched a blanket close to him. A grimy sock on one foot and a bandage around his wound were all the clothes he had. No orderly rode with us. They had tied webbing around the badly hurt younger man, knowing he was incapable of saving himself from the effects of the bouncing, swaying vehicle. The wide swathes of bandages around his middle became frighteningly dyed red over a steadily increasing area. His eyes were closed and his breathing came in short gasps. I could not get to the partition separating us from the driver's cab so, with what urgency I could put into my Spanish, I asked the other man to bang hard. He did so, and we stopped. The driver came back, opened the rear door and demanded "Que pasa?" 83 84 To TILT AT WINDMILLS We pointed to the lower bunk. He climbed in and looked closely at the white face, lifted an eyelid. I said "He's bleeding badly. Can't you do something ?" Making some pretense of adjusting the bandages he answered kindly enough "I'll drive as carefully as I can. We are near the hospital." Then with a cheery encouragement to us he returned to his cab and we were away again. I did not need to be told the lad was dead. Eventually I reached Benicasim and began another session of half-living. My left arm was put in plaster from hand to shoulder and my buttocks in swaddling clothes. The hospital organisation was not good, the treatment erratic; certainly it was no Huete, no English Hospital. I was in one of the many villas, one-time homes of the wealthy. It is right on the shore. The sea looks lovely and there are palm trees along the Esplanade. I am looking forward to getting out and seeing it all. But it is not a good hospital. The chicas are overworked, the food is poor and insufficient. I can get nothing to read. My villa is the "Alvarez del Vayo." All, apparently, are named likewise-the "Thaalman, " and ''Azalia,'' etc. The whole lot comprise one huge hospital.35 On 11 February I was allowed out of bed for one hour, but this resulted in not a little alarm and even some despondency, for the inexpertly applied dressings and bandages around my rear were soon trailing my ankles! The same day brought a visit from a British Labour Party delegation . The chiefpoint in theirfavor was that they gave me 20 Woodbines. The hierarchy of the hospital seemed largely German. As was so frequently the case, the lower orders were reserved for the Spanish-cheerful , hardworking but regrettably not all skilled in the art of applying bandages for the three or more days required of them. Mostly convalescent, my fellow patients often sorely tried my low-ebb spirits, making me from time to time let loose some uncomradely invective . But, invariably, the chief culprits of the previous night's noisy fun and games, lively Spanish youngsters, would greet me next morning with sincerely expressed condolences on the continuing unsatisfactory state of my backside as evidenced by the running commentary given them by the nurse as...

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