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Chapter 2: Life
- University of Hawai'i Press
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33 CHAPTER 2 Life Because life (insaeng) concerns everyone, different people take different positions, propose different perspectives, and argue against one another. However, before discussing issues related to the life of a human being, we should first ask whether we are living as a human being. I would say that living as a human being is the beginning and end of all questions. All problems are solved once we know that we are leading such a life, whereas many questions arise when we do not know the meaning of life. The standards regarding the values of existence are determined according to whether we are beings capable of controlling our own lives. A being who lives an independent life is one whose life is of utmost value. Who, then, is this being, the being we call “I”? One cannot have a doubt about the fact that this “I” refers to a human being, which is universally confirmed to be the most valuable of all beings existing in the world. When we say “I,” this “I” has meaning only when the “I” is capable of being completely in charge of his or her life. By the same token, only the “I” who is free to handle life can be considered to be living the “life of a human being.” In our lives, however, the “I,” or the self, is far from free. Why, then, do we still refer to “I” and pretend that that “I” belongs to us? The answer does not require any investigation into the meaning of the expressions “I” or “myself.” Even a child knows that to say something is “mine” means that I am in charge of that thing. If we are not the owners of our lives, can we still be considered to be living as a human being? Can we still say that we have the mind of a human in such a life? Because we are alive, we desperately claim freedom and peace as absolute necessities. If we are really free beings, how can there be any complaints or dissatisfaction ? Freedom and peace belong to us as individuals; so why do we try to find them in something external to us? Moreover, if we are free beings, we should be free from the boundaries called the universe, the numbers called time, and the limits called space. Why are we still bound by time and space and unable to free our- 34 Reflections of a Zen Buddhist Nun selves from the birth and death of this body? It is because, even though we define ourselves as human beings, we have lost the original mind of human beings; this original mind is creativity equipped with all kinds of qualities. Since we have lost our original mind, we fail to ask the fundamental questions about our existence. That is, we fail to ask why we still call this “I” our own when we cannot take charge of our lives. Human beings primarily consist of the material mind that senses joy and sorrow.1 We are beings controlled by a thought that is thinking of thought. Only when we live according to the “mind of nothingness” (mujŏk chŏngsin), which is the thought before a thought arises, does life as a human being begin. Only when each of us finds the original mind of a human being, which is the “existence of nothingness” (mujŏk chonjae), and are capable of putting it at our own disposal, does the human being’s life open up. When that happens, we become independent beings no longer susceptible to being manipulated by the environment. Once a person reaches this state, whenever, wherever, and whatever kind of life he leads, no matter the shape of his body, he finds nirvana. For those who have lost their minds, the first step to recover from that illness is to realize that they have lost their minds. Likewise, as soon as we realize that we are not yet leading the life of a human being, a path to become a human being opens up. Problems of life will not be resolved until we realize the meaning of being human. Sentient beings on this earth look at other sentient beings and think that things are the way they should be, never investigating what it really means to be human. Since we are unsure about the meaning of life as a human, we are not concerned about how to control our minds. The problem is posed in the...