My Dear Boy: Carrie Hughes's Letters to Langston Hughes, 1926-1938

Dreams Deferred, 1926–1929

Dreams Deferred 1926–1929 The letters in this period effectively comprise an introduction, framing a number of themes, issues, and problems that Carrie develops in subsequent correspondence. Implicitly, they record a subtle erosion of her optimism about life and the many dreams she held out for success on her own terms. What unfolds is her deepening realization of how she must depend on others for simple subsistence and her reckoning with a loss of personal freedom. Instead of the self-sufficiency that comes with being fully individuated, Carrie must turn to various forms of fusion to ensure her survival. She has a growing sense that others are responsible, even obligated, to take care of her. The letters in this section lay a foundation for understanding the strategies she employs to encourage the kind of emotional relationships that will enable her to feel good about herself. She does not write deliberately or self-consciously, as if she is trying to work out her feelings, achieve self-knowledge, or create a document for posterity. Nevertheless, she paints a remarkable self-portrait that defines her persona, especially insofar as it relates to the family. In turn, we are able to intuit the family’s response to her. Many of the letters vacillate between two modes of expression. Either they read like lists detailing information about family and friends or they convey business matters. The tone is generally aloof, if not unemotional, revealing few of Carrie’s deepest feelings. She tells us, for instance, that friends take her to shows and dinner or even send for her to come to a 24  dreams deferred funeral. Carrie appears to be gracious and grateful for the well-meant generosity of her friends, but there is little to indicate humility or her heartfelt appreciation for their kindness. This is one of her methods of manipulation . She exchanges her gratitude for the services that people provide her. She feels a sense of entitlement and privilege and creates a very deliberate strategy of exchanging her gratitude and love for providing for her needs and for fulfilling her wishes. Of course, her donors’ largesse affects her self-esteem. Instead of feeling fulfilled and good about who she is, she rationalizes the proud person she was meant to be and therefore makes herself feel she deserves the good offices of her friends and family. Carrie never talks about having earned their support. Her discussions, instead, are about her entitlement through the good works of her father and other family members. In other moments, she resorts to importuning to solicit and express love. For instance, when she writes to Langston about her need for money for a trip and a coat, she abruptly shifts to an emotional appeal and puts their relationship on the line. For him not to accede to her demands translates to his being at fault for the lacunae in their relationship: “I want you to help me this time and I won’t bother you ever again. Dear, why don’t you love me. Why aren’t we more loving and chummy.” The spontaneity of the query about their relationship does not indicate a planned or orchestrated motive. It does suggest a willfulness, as if an emotional need, emanating from somewhere in the wellspring of her heart, suddenly required unbidden expression. Her question, in effect, becomes a form of manipulation since it further entraps Langston, demanding that he show his affection for her in the way she recognizes best—materially. She also tends to hold him hostage emotionally by placing their relationship next to others, particularly with her stepson Gwyn “Kit” Clark, as a way to demonstrate to Langston that he has not earned the favored position. She forces him to confront the great estimate she has of others , especially her image of Gwyn as a “good hearted kid.” The obvious implication—that Langston is not as good as Gwyn—is calculated to prick Langston’s conscience. On one occasion, when Gwyn works at a golf course, he brings his earnings, eighty cents, home to Carrie. That dreams deferred  25 she lavishes so much praise on him for such a modest gift is intended to make Langston jealous. It sets up a competition between the two sons that obligates Langston to match Gwyn’s magnanimity. No doubt it was as transparent to Langston as it is to today’s reader when Carrie follows that by stating...