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& Eva's mother had been called to the hospital late that night on a separate emergency,and she'd been there when they brought my father in. She'd recognized the name, and she'd called Eva, who told her I was in the boathouse, and then she'd called the motel and talked to my mother. They had decided to let me sleep until morning before telling me. We drove back to the motel, and my mother told me to pack my things. She said we'd leave as soon as we could, but first she had to go to the hospital to sign some forms. She gave me the key and let me out in front of the motel and drove off. I watched her go, and it crossed my mind that she might never come back. I took ashower,put on clean clothes, then walkedout behind the motel and along Stroud's driveway.I found him sitting on the patio, smoking a cigarette. When he sawme, he stood up and stubbed out the cigarette. He said, "Come here, honey," and he stepped overand wrapped his arms around me, and when he let me go, he pulled a chair up closeto his, and he sat leaning forward aswe talked, his hand on mine. Nobody else had said it, but Stroud did. "I knowyou thinking this was your fault." I knew it was my fault, and he knew it too. 160 Eva's mother had been called to the hospital late that night on a separate emergency, and she'd been there when they brought my father in. She'd recognized the name, and she'd called Eva, who told her 1was in the boathouse, and then she'd called the motel and talked to my mother. They had decided to let me sleep until morning before telling me. We drove back to the motel, and my mother told me to pack my things. She said we'd leave as soon as we could, but first she had to go to the hospital to sign some forms. She gave me the key and let me out in front ofthe motel and drove off. 1watched her go, and it crossed my mind that she might never come back. 1took a shower, put on clean clothes, then walked out behind the motel and along Stroud's driveway. 1 found him sitting on the patio, smoking a cigarette. When he saw me, he stood up and stubbed out the cigarette. He said, "Come here, honey," and he stepped over and wrapped his arms around me, and when he let me go, he pulled a chair up close to his, and he sat leaning forward as we talked, his hand on mine. Nobody else had said it, but Stroud did. "I know you thinking this was your fault." 1 knew it was my fault, and he knew it too. I60 "Yes, sir," I said. "Look here," he said. "It partly is.That'sjust the truth. There's no way around it. It partly is, and you'll have to live with that. But you listen to me now. Youcan't take your daddy's death all on your own shoulders. Byyourself.Youcan't do that, even if it is partly your fault. Youhear what I'm sayingto you?" I heard a noise behind me. I looked back but didn't seeanything except the fence and the trashpile and the old dead oak that rose up behind the trash. 161 "Yes, sir," I said. "Look here," he said. "It partly is. That's just the truth. There's no way around it. It partly is, and you'll have to live with that. But you listen to me now. You can't take your daddy's death all on your own shoulders. By yourself. You can't do that, even ifit is partly your fault. You hear what I'm saying to you?" I heard a noise behind me. I looked back but didn't see anything except the fence and the trashpile and the old dead oak that rose up behind the trash. I6I ...
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