Distant Flame

October-December 1861

October-December 1861 O N N SARAH PIERCE'S THIRD visit, when she squeezed his hand as she had done each time before, Charlie, whose illness had been worse, felt his hand squeeze back into hers. He had already begun eating solid food, though he had rarely opened his sore eyes and spoken only a little. Martha performed skits, doing all the voices. His mother read aloud from the Bible and from Bill Arp, and Charlie laylike a corpse, with his will whittling at the silence. The town wept in grief and anger when little Ezra Atkinson had to be buried near Charlotte, North Carolina, "on account of the condition of the body, which could not bear further transport south." The town bought a plot and sent to Italy for a marble statue anyway. Across Georgia, mills roared into motion, making shoes and boots, blankets, trousers, and vests. One factory, short of wool, made clothing with cow hair. In Washington, Georgia, factory workers turned out a slick succession of waterproof oilcloth leggings, overcoats, and capes. Some towns made hats. Others fabricated butternut jeans. On some plantations, slaveswere set to making shoes with wooden soles. No one knew how the Federal embargo might affect the South. Rev. Charles Merrill had not found Tom, despite telegrams, letters, and rail messages. He wrote Governor Brown and Vice President Alexander Stephens, who had taught in Branton as a young man, and 124 PHILIP LEE WILLIAMS before the war sometimes stopped for services on his way from Crawfordville to Atlanta. Charles continued with Sunday and Wednesday services, with prayer meetings and visitations, funerals and even a few weddings, mostly of boys headed for Virginia. Charles read Bible commentaries to Charlie, played with Martha and took her for rides in his carriage, meandered in the kitchen garden, speaking with God, who, Charles was convinced, had ceased to listen. Charlie felt now as if he were crawling inside a tunnel of fog, still almost too weak to stir. Birds sat in the arched limbs outside and passed their days in splendid ignorance . Insects, as the evening came on, set up a somnolent drone from yard to yard. Surely the war must be over by now, though no one had told him much about it except Sarah. He knew the pressure of her small feet on the steps. She would be whispering with Betsy. Charlie could not imagine why she kept arriving, but now, for the third time in a week, she sat beside him, and he could feel her eyes on him. She had been talking about the stupidity of her uncle, Fort Sumter, General Irvin McDowell, Negro sales,John Fremont's cashiering in Missouri by Abe Lincoln—all with a kind of cheerful elan yet in quiet words. No one else would risk upsetting him, but Sarah didn't seem to care. So when she took his hand and held it, Charlie felt a deep warmth, like sunlight through honey. "Oh—oh, my God," said Sarah. "Charlie, do that again." He squeezed her hand again, and slowly, like a sunken ship rising miraculously from a great depth, he opened one eye and then the other. The room was filled with a blasting light. He closed his eyes and blinked them for a time. She was leaning closer, and her scent filled his nostrils with desire. "Sarah," he croaked. He turned his head back and forth tentatively. He opened his eyes again, and she was there close beside him smiling, much more beautiful than he had expected. Her eyes were wide, her mouth opened in a faint smile. "Sweet Jesus, you're full awake," she said. "I'll go get your mother." "Wait—wait," he said. "Water?" "Here." She dipped a cupful from the pitcher that Betsykept on the table next to his bed, then placed it to his lips and gently lifted his head. He sipped the water, eyes opened completely now, and he felt his hands come up and around hers. The room was warm, but he felt clean. He knew that his mother had been bathing him and combed and scented his hair each time Sarah came over. He fell back exhausted on the fluffed pillows. A Distant flame 125 "I—I've heard everything you've said," Charlie whispered. "I've been very ill." "Everyone thought you were going to die, dear God," she said. He turned and looked at her...