Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

A

A. The first letter in every properly constructed alphabet. It is the first natural utterance of the humanvocalorgans, and isvariouslysounded, according to the pleasure and convenience of the speaker. In logic,A asserts and B denies. Assertions being proverbiallyuntrue, the presumption would be in favor of B's innocence were it not that denials are notoriously false. In grammar,Ais called the indefinitearticle, probably because,denoting adefinite number, it is so obviouslya numeral adjective. Abacot, n. A cap of state wrought into the shape of two crowns, formerly worn by kings. Very pretty monarchs had it made in the form of three crowns. Abactor, n. One who steals a whole herd of cattle, as distinguished from the inferior actor who steals one animal at a time—a superior stock actor, as it were. Abacus, n. In architecture, the upper part of a column, upon which, in allgood architecture, sits the thoughtful stork pondering unutterable things. Abada, n. An African animal having three horns, two on the head and one on the nape of the neck bywhich to hang up the carcassafter the head hasbeen removed. In those varieties that are not hunted by man, this third horn is imperfectly developed or wholly wanting. Abaddon, n. [i.] A certain person who is much in society, but whom one does not meet. A bad one. [2.] The Adversary of Souls, considered under one of his manycharming aspects. Abandon, v.t. [i.] To correct an erring friend or admonish a needy one. Of women the word abandoned is used in the sense of indiscreet. [2.] To confer the advantageof being rid of you. To recant. Thank heaven, I have abandoned the follies of youth for those of age.—Chauncey Depew. Abasement, n. A decent and customarymental attitude in the presenceofwealth or power. Peculiarly appropriate in an employee when addressing an employer . Taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa molesting the rubbish inside. [2.] Embarrassing circumstances placed outside a fort in order to augment the coy reluctance of the enemy. Abattoir, n. A place where cattle slaughter kine. It is commonly placed at some distance from the haunts of our species, in order that they who devour the fleshmay not be shocked by the sight of the blood. Abat-voix, n. A sounding brass above a tinkling cymbal. Abba, n. A father who has made a vownot to be a husband. Abbess, n. A female father. Abderian, adj. Abderian laughter is idle and senselesslaughter; so calledbecause Democritus, an idle and senseless philosopher, is said to have been born at Abdera, whence the word washardlyworth importing. Abdest, n. The Mohammedan ceremony of inspiring water through the nose before expiringprayer from the stomach. Abdication, n. [i.] An act wherebya sovereign attests his sense of the high temperature of the throne. Poor Isabella's dead, whose abdication Set alltongues wagging in the Spanish nation. For that performance 'twere unfair to scold her: Shewisely left a throne too hot to hold her. To History she'll be no royal riddle— Merely a plain parched pea that jumped the griddle. G.J. [2.] The surrender of a crown for a cowl, in order to compile the shin-bones and toe-nails of saints. The voluntary renunciation of that of which one has previously been deprived byforce. The giving up of athrone for the purpose of enjoying the discomfiture of a successor. For these several definitions we are indebted to Spanish history. Abdomen, n. [i.] The temple of the god Stomach, in whose worship, with sacrificial rites, alltrue men engage. From women this ancient faith commands but a stammering assent. They sometimes minister at the altar in a halfhearted and ineffective way, but true reverence for the one deity that men really adore they know not. If woman had afree hand in the world's marketing the race would become graminivorous. [2.] Ashrine enclosing the object of man's sincerest devotion. Abduction, n. [i.] In law, a crime; in morals, a punishment. [2.] A species of invitation without persuasion. SeeKIDNAP. "You act as if you were given," said she, "To abduction—but pray do not kidnap me." "Oh, well," said that bold and impenitent chap, "You're the kind of kid I should like to nap." 6 : THE UNABRIDGED DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Abelians, n. A religious sect of Africa who practiced the virtues of Abel. They were unfortunate in flourishing contemporaneously with the Cainians, and are now extinct. Aberration, n. Any deviation in another...