Ma, n. Mother, in the language of children. Contraction of mommer. Macaroni, n. An Italian food made in the form of a slender, hollow tube. It consists of two parts—the tubing and the hole, the latter being the part that digests. Mace, n. A staff of office signifying authority. Its form, that of a heavy club, indicates its original purpose and use in dissuading from dissent. Machination, n. The method employed by one's opponents in baffling one's open and honorable efforts to do the right thing. So plain the advantagesof machination It constitutes amoral obligation, And honest wolveswho think upon't with loathing Feel bound to don the sheep's deceptive clothing. So prospersstill the diplomatic art, And Satanbows, with hand upon his heart. R. S.K. Macrobian, n. One forgotten of the gods and living to a great age. History is abundantly supplied with examples, from Methuselah to Old Parr,but some notable instances of longevity are less well known. A Calabrian peasant named Coloni, born in 1753, lived so long that he had what he considered a glimpse of the dawn of universal peace. Scanavius relates that he knew an archbishop who was so old that he could remember a time when he did not deserve hanging. In 1566 a linen draper of Bristol, England, declared that he had livedfivehundred years, and that in allthat time he had nevertold alie. There are instances of longevity (macrobiosis) in our own country. Senator Chauncey Depew isold enough to knowbetter. The editor of TheAmerican., a newspaper in New York City, has a memory that goes back to the time when he was a rascal,but not to the fact. The President of the United States was born so long ago that manyof the friends of hisyouth have risento high political and military preferment without the assistance of personal merit. The verses followingwerewritten by a macrobian: When I wasyoung the world was fair And amiable and sunny. A brightness was in alltheair, In allthe waters, honey. The jokeswere fine and funny, The statesmen honest in their views, And in their lives, as well, And when you heard a bit of news 'Twas true enough to tell. Men were not ranting, shouting, reeking, Nor women "generally speaking." The Summer then waslong indeed: It lasted one whole season! The sparkling Winter gaveno heed When ordered by Unreason To bring the earlypeas on. Now, where the dickens is the sense In calling that ayear Which does no more than just commence Before the end is near? When I wasyoung the year extended From month to month until it ended. I know not whythe world has changed To something dark and dreary, And everything is now arranged To makea fellowweary. The WeatherMan—I fear he Has much to do with it, for, sure, The air is not the same: It chokes you when it is impure, When pure it makesyou lame. With windows closed you are asthmatic; Open, neuralgic or sciatic. Well, I suppose this new regime Of dun degeneration Seems eviler than it would seem To a better observation, And has for compensation Some blessings in a deep disguise 158 : THE UNABRIDGED DEVIL'S DICTIONARY [44.204.204.14] Project MUSE (2024-03-28 13:31 GMT) Which mortal sight has failed To pierce, although to angels' eyes They're visiblyunveiled. If Age is such a boon, good land! He's costumed by a master hand! Venable Strigg. Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech and action derived by the conformants from study of themselves; at odds with the majority; in short, unusual. It is noteworthy that persons are pronounced mad by officials destitute of evidence that themselves are sane. For illustration, this present (and illustrious) lexicographer is no firmer in the faith of his own sanity than is any inmate of any madhouse in the land; yet for aught he knows to the contrary, instead of the lofty occupation that seems to him to be engaging his powers he may really be beating his hands against the window bars of an asylum and declaring himself Noah Webster, to the innocent delight of many thoughtless spectators. Magdalene, n. An inhabitant of Magdala. Popularly, a woman found out. This definition of the word has the authority of ignorance, Mary of Magdala being another person than the penitent woman mentioned by St. Luke. It has also the official sanction of the governments of Great...