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89 the farmhand and his judges A FARMHAND WAS BROUGHT to trial for stealing a broken pump handle, a pickle bottle, and a box of colored crayons. The judge said, "Your thefts are senseless. You steal trivial things, things you don't even want." "I know," said the prisoner. "I never benefit by what I take, and afterwards I'm ashamed and swear not to do it again; but there must be a reason for my behavior, and sometimes I feel I almost know what it is." He lifted his hands outward and said, "I wish my conduct were as easily understood as that of the squirrel." The judge asked him to explain his last remark, and the farmhand went on: "Some months ago, a squirrel was gnawing my master's trees and doing them damage. He wasn't eating the bark, and he wasn't taking it away for his nest-he was just gnawing for no reason at all, or [ 178 ] so I thought. His actions seemed as criminal to me as my actions seem to you, so I kept a lookout for him, and at last he stepped into the trap I'd made, just as I stepped into my master's trap. "The little squirrel feared me because of what he had done, just as I fear you, and I could feel his heart pounding against my hands. I asked him why he had damaged the farmer's property, and he explained to me that the damage, from his viewpoint, wasn't senseless, as I thought. He said the teeth of a squirrel weren't like the teeth of a man. A man's teeth grow from top to bottom, and they stop growing when they reach their maturity; but a squirrel's teeth grow from the bottom upward, and continue to grow as long as he lives. " 'But that doesn't explain why you gnaw trees,' I said. " 'It does, master,' he answered. 'If I didn't gnaw trees, my teeth would grow so long that soon I wouldn't be able to close my mouth, and I'd die of starvation.' " "What did you do then?" asked the judge. "I told the squirrel I understood him, my nature being what it was," said the farmhand; "and I put him down and watched him run off into the woods." He looked at the judge and jury, but seeing their set, uncomprehending faces, he said, "I should be tried- by a jury of squirrels, with whom I have something in common, and not by a jury of men who condemn me, not because of what I have done, but because of their own terrifying ignorance." [ 179 ] ...

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