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letter to my brother
- Syracuse University Press
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34 letter to my brother one night just after 11:00 when you were 19 years, 5 months, and 8 days old my tiny mother squeezed me out in a Beirut hospital while our father slept peacefully beside your mother do you remember that night? did you feel your universe shift just a little? did your dream capsize? how at 57 can you tell me everything? how at 37 will I ever know you? I will start by looking under your tidily clipped fingernails inspect the peelings caress your skull count each hair that matches mine I might check your teeth for hidden stories unfold your hands hold the palms against my own the way children do could such a detailed inspection reveal the past? could it fill me in on 57 years of living? pull back your lip let me swab your DNA prove that it matches mine that we are the same split shortly after my birth you in your right place 35 I too far away always longing for mine how at 57 will you ever know me? how at 37 can I tell you everything? a lifetime spent longing for my real self for a view I can breathe for a world I understand the truth came too late my footprints are stained in English my clumsy shoes large and American can’t change them now can’t cut off toes to make them fit stuck outside peeking in windows: an invention a fiction someone who can visit but never stay always on the outskirts first birth decided your life last accidental birth decided mine we are not so different both shaped by our father’s inheritance inaction inability to do the right thing and more so by birth order his yours mine [3.85.215.164] Project MUSE (2024-03-29 06:35 GMT) ...