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Preface: Concerning Little Girls Who Have Been Spoilt by Their Parents and Will Not Make It in Any Society
- Syracuse University Press
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5 Preface Concerning Little Girls Who Have Been Spoilt by Their Parents and Will Not Make It in Any Society The reason [girls are spoiled] is that from the beginning of life until puberty they eat nothing but delicious dishes, drink cold beverages, and hear nothing but “Little Lady.” Every nurse says, “My little lady, the moon cannot compare with you in beauty,” and [the girl] imagines herself to be as fair as a peacock of paradise. The parents, as the saying goes, stuff her ears with vapid compliments such as, “Oh my dear pretty one, may I be your sacrifice, do not accept a suitor because he has a turban or the other one that wears a large mantle2 or a third one who does not have a proper head of hair. Your husband must be like a king, not like this poor beggar.” She has heard such nonsense from the beginning of her life until the moment that she leaves for her husband’s house, and thus her head is filled with it. In effect, thanks to the credulity of the weaker sex, they believe such talk, and when she goes to the house of the husband, she makes her own life and that of the husband darker than my life. Then a crowd of old women gather around her, heaving sighs that such and such a girl is unfortunate and that her husband does not appreciate her. They do not understand that man has been created to experience suffering and hardship so that as long as he lives, he will waste his precious life and earn 6 The Education of Women worldly possession for the sake of his wife, children, and family. In fact, one who has no relations and does not care for anything has gained nothing either from this world or from the world to come. And, in fact, he finds no joy in both worlds.3 However, the beginning of difficulties and the suffering of hardship is getting married and having children, which is the cause of many sorrows in this and the next world, and the poet has well said: O thou who art burdened with a family, Think no more of ever enjoying tranquility.4 Yet without wife, children, and worldly possessions, you cannot prosper in this or the next world. Among the greatest difficulties of the world is marriage, and this relationship has often caused men to leave their mother, father, brother, and other relatives and to throw themselves into great dangers and live their life in perpetual hardship. Therefore, the matter of marriage is of great importance , and God the Merciful has decreed this affair. Thus, man has no choice but to marry. Those who have abandoned this world either have denied God’s decree or were ignorant of this world. Nevertheless, real men have suffered under this burden , but they had no choice but to exercise forbearance and patience. Don’t you see that as soon as a woman is married to a man whom she has not seen before in her life and never has even heard his name, she becomes so attached to him that she leaves all her relatives and family? In the whole world, she has chosen you, and for the sake of the love for her husband she does not begrudge him her wealth and even her life. She will do anything to gain his affection. If she sees a deceitful charlatan , she loses her money through deceit and fraud by buying such things as a paper scribbled in red ink that, God forgive [18.190.28.78] Project MUSE (2024-04-17 22:26 GMT) Preface 7 me, has been diluted with donkey’s fat and has been offered to her as a talisman of love. She will believe this donkey skin to be Tartary musk and dried cow dung to be powdered perfume . She seeks the aid of a hyena’s genitals, which, in the trade, is the most desired means of getting love, so that she can gain the affection of the husband. Love has done many such things and will do so again It has turned a Sufi’s robe into that of a monk like a refrain.5 She is unaware that all these things are nonsense and that magic cannot affect anything and will not bring any affection . But their hunger is never sated. Pillow talk is needed, not the genitals of hyenas. Charming manners are required, not...