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30 The Merchandiser’s Song Sell only the best for as much as you can and make it appear like a bargain from God. It takes as much work to sell rubies as toothpicks, but watch how the difference quintuples your profits and let that convince you the difference is worth it. I’ve done this for years so I know what I’m saying. It’s true that men buy, but smart women shop, which means that they notice while men merely look. When choosing a car, a woman will favor a color that makes it the key to the deal, and the man has no choice but to buy it to please her. I’ve dealt with all kinds so I know what I’m saying. With Arabs you haggle, with Brits you’re exact. Don’t deal with Chinese, or you’re certain to lose. A Frenchman in business is cold but correct. A Spaniard stays calm unless he feels cheated, but if he feels cheated, you better leave town. I’ve traveled a lot so I know what I’m saying. Don’t brag of your gains, or you’ll gain the wrong friends. When you lose, you’d be wise not to mention your losses. Gripe, and you’ll find that you bore your defenders and gladden all those who were happy you flopped. Look up when you’re down, look down when you’re up. I’ve lost and I’ve won so I know what I’m saying. If men need to choose for today or tomorrow, they’ll choose for today, and tomorrow can wait. This means that you sell them what tempts them right now 31 before they can muster a reason to tell you they would if they could or thanks, but no thanks. I’ve learned how men think so I know what I’m saying. Selling yourself is a game without mercy. If nobody buys, you’re equal to zero. The name of the game is how much you are worth. If you make a million, you’re worth what you’ve made. If you take in nothing, you’re not worth a thing. I’ve sold my whole life so I know what I’m saying. ...

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