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57 1. From the High Holiday prayers; compare Genesis 3:19. Translated by Tevye in his next ten words. 2. Based on Derekh Eretz Rabbah 5:3, “Always view all people as robbers, yet respect them.” In the subsequent passage, the idiom cave canum (Latin, “beware of the dog”) is meant to convey, by embedding Latin in this English translation, Tevye’s unusual use of a Russian phrase (nye vir sobaki, “don’t trust a dog”) in his Yiddish monologue. Hodel You’re surprised at Tevye, Sholem Aleichem, it’s so long since you’ve seen him? He’s gone way down hill, you say? Out of the blue he’s gone gray? Ach, if you knew the troubles, the pain that your Tevye’s lugging around with him! Like it says in the prayers, odom yesoydoy mi‘ofer ve-soyfoy le‘ofer1 —man is formed from dust and ends up as dust; he’s weaker than a fly and stronger than iron. . . . And that’s Tevye to a T. Wherever there’s an evil, a hardship, a calamity, it has to find its way to me, whether it wants to or not. And why me? Because I’m a born sap who takes everyone at his word? Kabdeyhu ve-khashdeyhu2 —our sages have told us a thousand times, and Tevye can never remember it. Respect him and suspect him: in plain Yiddish, cave canem, don’t trust the s.o.b. as far as you can throw him. . . . What am I supposed to do about it, if that’s my real nature? You know that I’m always looking on the bright side, and with Him Who Lives Forever I don’t get into arguments. However He works things out, it’s fine by me. Be my guest and try it the other way, go ahead and kick against the pricks—you think it’s going to help you? Ha-neshome lokh, we say when we pray for forgiveness, the soul is Yours and so is the body—so what does a person know, what does he amount to? Not that I don’t argue, mind you; it’s just that I always do it with her, my better half, I mean. “Golda,” I tell her, “you’re committing a sin. We’ve got a midrash . . .” “What do I need with a midrash?” she says. “We’ve got a daughter to marry off. And after that daughter come two more daughters, touch wood. And after those two, another three.” 58 | SHOLEM ALEICHEM 3. Tevye associates his daughter’s beauty with that of Vashti and Esther. See the Book of Esther 1:11, and compare 2:7. 4. Genesis 22:12. 5. Compare Deuteronomy 16:14. “Eh,” I say, “Forget about it, Golda. Our sages have got it covered. There’s a midrash about this, too . . .” But she won’t let me get a word in. “Daughters,” she tells me, “grown-up daughters are enough of a midrash all by themselves . . .” Try and reason with a woman! To get to the point, though, it should be clear from this that I’ve got a full line of merchandise, touch wood, top-quality goods without a flaw in the lot, one more beautiful than the next. Far be it from me to praise my own children , but I hear what everybody says, and what they’re all saying is: “Gorgeous !” And the most gorgeous of all is Hodel. She’s number two after Tsaytl, the one who went nuts for the tailor, remember? Is she pretty, this Hodel? What more can I say than what it says in the Purim Megillah, “because she was fair to look upon”3 —a piece of shining gold. And as if that isn’t bad enough, she has to go and have brains, too, has to read and write Yiddish and Russian, and pack away books like dumplings. Of course you’ll want to know how Tevye’s daughter comes to books when her father deals in butter and cheese? Look, that’s just what I want to ask those fine young men who have outlasted their pants but want to study in a university . As we say at the Passover Seder: “We are all wise”—they all want to learn; “we are all intelligent”—they all want to be students. But ask them, “What’s with the studying? Goats should know from the neighbor’s garden like you guys know from universities!” When everything...

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