Did You Hear About The Girl Who . . . ?: Contemporary Legends, Folklore, and Human Sexuality

Chapter 8: The Frat Boy's Sister and the Chat Room Date: Incest, Accidental and Otherwise

8 THE FRAT BOY’S SISTER AND THE CHAT ROOM DATE Incest, Accidental and Otherwise ❏ There was a guy in this frat who brought his younger sister to Athens for a weekend. The frat was having a big party and he thought she’d enjoy it. The party came, and bro and sis were hanging out, getting really ripped. Sis excused herself to go to the john. A good while later, she had not yet returned, so bro went to look for her. While stumbling around the frat house, completely soused, he happened upon a room full of guys, “enjoying” some poor girl who was apparently too sick to worry about it, because her head was stuck out the window and it sounded like she was throwing up. Bro joins in the fun. When everyone has had their turn, they pull the girl, who has passed out, back into the room. Bro realizes with horror that he has just participated in gang-raping his sister. Many legends are particularly bizarre and improbable, though, by definition, they have to be at least possible and plausible to some listeners . The basic plot of the gang-rape of a drunken woman does 143 seem plausible to those who have read about gang-rapes in college settings, particularly fraternities, while the bizarre aspect is provided by the unintentional incest. There are some minor variations in the story, but all end with the same terrible revelation: At a fraternity party, a girl drank too much and passed out leaning out the window. One of the fraternity brothers came into the room and saw her. He lifted up her dress and violated her. When he was done, he went and retrieved one of his friends from the party. He brought his friend into the room, and his friend violated the woman also. They decided to see who she was and so they pulled her in. They looked at her face and the second frat boy said, “Oh my God, that’s my sister!” This legend is told by and to both men and women, especially in late high school or early college, but the message differs for the two groups. Women are warned against the dangers of drinking and attending fraternity parties. Men are either warned to check the identity of a woman before raping her (to look before they rape) or, we hope, reminded that every woman who is raped is somebody’s sister—or daughter or mother. One male student interpreted it as “This legend may be anti-rape. It casts the rapist as a typical date rapist. The fledgling rapist (the pledge) is shown the error of his ways by committing rape on a family member.” This legend is widespread nationally and even informants in Australia knew it, with the locale being a party but not a fraternity. Some students reported having heard variations of this legend frequently in high school, so perhaps, as the roommate legend served to warn young men to protect themselves from the imagined dangers of predatory gay men, these stories may serve to warn young women about the real dangers of alcohol as associated with sexual assault. For young women, the horror is in the gang-rape of a woman too drunk to resist; for young men it seems to be the revelation of the identity of the victim. Given that some studies have shown that sexual assault does occur disproportionately in fraternities (Sanday, 1990) and also that college women are often THE FRAT BOY’S SISTER AND THE CHAT ROOM DATE 144 drunk when sexually assaulted, the story may be an effective and important warning. While the story may serve as a warning about the dangers of alcohol , it also reinforces the false beliefs both that alcohol causes violence and that, because of her drinking, a woman shares guilt in her own rape. Although violence is often associated with alcohol and the interconnections are complex, drinking in itself does not cause violence. People who have committed violence have to be held accountable for their behavior whether or not they have been drinking. There is also a common societal double standard. Women who are hurt when they have been drinking are blamed both for the drinking and for creating the situation in which violence is so easy. On the other hand, men who rape and batter when drinking or drunk are often excused— “it was only...