Yeshiva Fundamentalism: Piety, Gender, and Resistance in the Ultra-Orthodox World

6. The Domestication of Masculine Piety

117 6 The Domestication of Masculine Piety Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. —Genesis 2:24 in the yeshiva community, the challenges to traditional norms of masculine piety are directly influencing and affecting the relationship between husband and wife. Accordingly, scholars studying the influence of contemporary feminism on fundamentalist groups and piety have found new gender models and greater egalitarianism (Brasher 1998; Griffith 1997; Mahmood 2005; Stacey 1990). in addition, anthropologists of fundamentalism and gender have highlighted women’s discontent with their roles as exclusively wives and mothers and have shown that they are becoming agents of protest and transformation within these groups (AbuLughod 1986; el-or 1993a, 1993b, 62, 2006; Griffith 1997; Mahmood 2005, 153–88). For example, Mahmood investigated women’s mosque movements in egypt as agents of both transformation and the construction of new forms of female piety. Few studies, however, have analyzed these questions from the viewpoint of men’s desire to change the existing fundamentalist-based models of religiosity, and they have not studied the resistance of the dominant elite men and how they are trying to rethink and change models of behavior . A parallel example of my examination of new forms of masculine piety can be found in The Promise Keepers (2004), Bartkowski’s analysis of how fundamentalist Christian males are reconstructing their religiosity . Bartkowski claims that evangelist men are trying to replace the conservative notion of “godly masculinity,” which used to be based on an 118 The Domestication of Masculine Piety “instrumentalist” definition of manhood and is characterized by aggression , rationality, and achievement. in turn, this model of (Christian) piety is based on the concept of an “expressive masculinity” that encourages greater male participation in family life, with an emphasis on the expression of feelings and greater gender egalitarianism. Bartkowski relies also on previous analyses of male resistance to the conventional and traditional familial roles as protectors and breadwinners (see ehrenreich 1983; kimmel 1996, 256; williams 2001, 4). Despite the yeshiva’s traditional expectation that students maintain a high level of asceticism, even in their relationship with their wife, young Haredi men now are reinterpreting family and gender. Young yeshiva men and a new generation of writers are using a discourse of domestication and have initiated a movement encouraging men to form closer relationships with their families. in these instances, the men serve as teachers and therapists for their wives and children. in manuals for students, husbands are instructed to enhance their wife’s well-being by addressing her frustrations and grievances. Such expressions of emotional support are part of the new ideals of manhood and piety, replacing the separation and isolation of Haredi men from their wives and families. New Haredi writers are defining and comparing the new gender roles in the family with those of the yeshiva ideal. This chapter explores the feelings of young yeshiva students about this model and how they are reconstructing new relationships in the family, as well as their feelings about fatherhood and piety. i found the information for this chapter in the books and audiocassettes produced by the younger generation of Haredim since the 1980s. in the “old” model of yeshiva fundamentalism, rabbis instructed men to let their wife take care of family obligations. Now, however, popular texts instruct young yeshiva scholars to combine their studies with their family tasks and functions and to offer physical aid and emotional support to their wives and children. These new books and CDs include popular psychological texts on human nature in general and on women’s anatomy, biology, and psychology in particular. Many instruction books contain psychological profiles of women and discuss women’s ambitions and desires. rather then emphasizing the closed men’s world of the yeshiva and the male bonds separating it from their wives’ worlds, the new discourse promotes unity and companionship between the sexes. This process of domestication also redefines the ideal of fatherhood and engagement in an emotionally involved relationship with the children, the family, and the community. The Domestication of Masculine Piety 119 The Triple Bond: Men, Women, and the Torah As are other fundamentalist groups, the Haredi community is oriented toward family life. Haredi children are encouraged to marry at a relatively young age and to have large families. in 2000, the average age of marriage for Haredim was 21.3, compared with...