allegiance

would like to first thank god

would like to first thank god as if god wanted to be thanked. like god cared about thank you. like god didn’t have a whole warehouse of thank-yous god could pick up out of god’s make-me-a-thank-you box whenever god wanted. as if god cared about your folded hands. god made those hands, god could make the hands fold up. like god got you your contract. like god didn’t have better things to do. god isn’t, after all, the one who raised you, staying up nights waiting to see if you get in before two. the clock ticks and god is trying to decide whether or not to have the next hurricane, the way one may decide whether or not to have the soup. you must think god is codependent. god can take care of god’s self. god has one foot out the door already cause god is sick of your shit, i’ll tell you what. like god was sitting in the audience wearing god’s sexiest dress that god bought just for this night, just because things have been tense between you and because god wanted you to know that you’re still the one, the one god’s always waiting for to come home with flowers and say i’m sorry every once in a while. it wouldn’t kill you. 21 but tonight god’ll take you standing up there on the mike thanking god before you thank your producers and give shout-outs in code— side projects. god understands. god’s not jealous. god is just happy you remembered that you’d like to thank god. god’s blushing now. 22 ...