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SERGEANT LATAYNA ORAMA
- University of Virginia Press
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40 SERGEANT LATAYNA ORAMA THE HARDEST GOOD-BYE I see her for the first time in many years. She is not what I remember at all. Her once flowing black hair has thinned. It hangs wispy over the blue and white flowers that cover her hospital gown, adding such age to her face. Her frame is fragile and frail, her eyes sunken, cold spaces. No one has been home for quite some time. A suffocating blanket of guilt wraps tight around me. I abandoned her. I am the reason for her lifeless, vacant body. She is dying. I stand at a distance, going over and over what I will say, hesitant to approach our ailing reality. She was born Tiffany Tyler and by marriage became Tiffany Prey, but she will always be Auntie Tip to me. We spent breezeless summers in front of cooling fans and ate sliced watermelon that left us with sticky fingers and huge smiles. My mother worked long and underpaid hours for a recycling manufacturer, and my father drove in all the cardinal directions in his semi truck to make a living. My brother and I spent countless memorable hours with Auntie Tip. One life-changing summer Auntie Tip almost burned our apartment down; she had gone to take the overflowing trash out and left the stove on. My brother, Dustin, and I lay on the couch fast asleep. We were only awakened by the fire alarm. It literally saved our lives. Now I clear my throat and swallow my tears. Time to greet Auntie Tip. “Hi, Auntie,” I say. I grab her and hold on so tight that I fear my grip will squeeze the life out of her, and I quickly loosen my arms. “Tanya, I am missed you like crazy. You go off to the Army, and you never look back for us,” says Auntie Tip. My mind strays for a minute. Her cold hands on my sinking soul bring me back. Even with all that people whisper, I am not afraid to touch and hold her. Auntie Tip has AIDS. She’s known for four years, but did not have the heart to tell me. She tries to look me in the eyes, but neither of us can hold our gaze. Our small talk goes on for several minutes, but I can only think about how much longer I will have her in my life. “When are you due to deploy again?” she asks. THE HARDEST GOOD-BYE 41 I do not want to answer her. My response will only reveal that I will once again be leaving. “At the end of the year,” I say. It is now July. My husband and I are in Miami for a family reunion . Auntie has been in the hospital several times recently. First it was double pneumonia and a plummeting white-cell count. Then a myriad of problems. Would this be my long good-bye? Too soon, it is time to leave for the airport, time to return to the life I now lead 886 miles from the city that was once my home. I am leaving Auntie Tip behind. She has five children who she will not see through college or even possibly through the year. Auntie Tip is also hooked on drugs that have claim on her every desire. I am fortunate to have known her when she was younger, without her high. “Good-bye,” I say. “No, not good-bye. I’ll see you later,” she says. I take an exaggerated breath as I realize that this is the hardest good-bye I have ever said. Sergeant Latayna Orama, US Army, served three tours in Iraq and one in Afghanistan . mos: 79S Career Counselor hometown: Lehigh, Florida I recently decided to explore the world! My first flight will take me to Japan in August of this year. I have discovered a love for culture and adventure. Although traveling is quite costly, I believe it to be worth any and all sacrifice. I also just turned twenty-seven in April, time to get serious about furthering my education. I am even considering a technical school, a big change for me. I also hope to start a family in the next few years. I really look forward to that adventure. I have learned that failure only comes when you fall three times and get up only twice. ...