Covenant Marriage: The Movement to Reclaim Tradition in America

Chapter 4: Who Wants a Covenant Marriage?

62 Chapter 4 Who Wants a Covenant Marriage? Y Although the implementation research described in chapter 3 was an important component in our covenant marriage research agenda, the centerpiece of that agenda was our longitudinal (panel) survey of newlyweds in Louisiana. Between 1999 and 2004, we surveyed about six hundred recently married couples (or approximately 1,200 individuals) three times: once within three to six months of their marriage, on average (wave 1), then again at roughly the two-year mark (wave 2), and finally at approximately the five-year milestone (wave 3). About one-half of the couples we surveyed were covenant couples and the other half had standard marriages. Statewide, about one in fifty couples (approximately 2 percent) chose covenant marriages in the years we conducted our research. We are interested in these couples because we want to know whether choosing a covenant marriage affected the course of the first five years of the marriage. Therefore, we drew equal numbers of covenant and standard marriages for our study. See appendix A for the sampling details. Part of the story about covenant marriage is that it appeals to a different type of couple. In other words, covenants and standard marriages start off their married lives in different circumstances and conditions, some of them obvious and some not. Before we can even begin to describe how covenant marriage changes the marital relationship over time, we obviously must understand how the two groups differed initially. The present chapter focuses on the wave 1 differences between covenant and standard couples. The question addressed is “Who wants a covenant marriage?” To answer this question we first compare the two types of partners on basic background characteristics and experiences before their marriage. Then we Who Wants a Covenant Marriage? 63 consider opinions and beliefs about marriage and divorce. We then consider the role of religion for the two types of couples, and we conclude with a brief review of differences in race, income, and education. The results are found in table 4.1. Given two forms of marriage, it would be surprising indeed if there were no differences between those choosing the one over the other. (Indeed, even partners in the marriage sometimes disagreed about the choice.) Our surveys revealed a number of consistent and significant differences that help us understand the preferences and decisions that led to choosing one or the other type of marriage. Before the Wedding One significant difference between the two types of couples is that covenant partners were four times more likely to have met at church than standard couples. One in five covenant couples, compared with only one in twenty (6 percent) standard couples, initially met at church. More generally, as we show later in the chapter, religion and traditional values often associated with religion weigh far more heavily on covenant than standard couples. We asked each partner several questions about the wedding ceremony and plans leading up to it. Although almost every covenant couple (97 percent ) had a religious ceremony, only two-thirds of standard couples did. Covenant marriages ceremonies were also more traditional: only about one in ten was described as “not traditional” compared with about one in four standard weddings. The weddings of covenant couples also tended to be larger. On average, covenant weddings included 178 guests compared with 110 for standard weddings. Covenant couples (94 percent) were also more likely to have financial help from both sets of parents to pay for the wedding . Only 63 percent of standard couples said that both their parents paid for the wedding. Although they celebrated their marriages in very traditional ways, covenant couples were also more likely to write some of their own vows, or add special themes to the standard ceremony. Living together before marriage is the norm in America today. Nationally, more than one-half of all recent marriages begin as cohabiting relationships (Bumpass and Lu 2000). Covenant couples, however, do not conform to that pattern. In fact, they are considerably less likely to have lived with their current partner, or with anyone else. The large majority of standard couples (64 percent) cohabited, while only 28 percent of covenant couples did. Almost one-half of standard wives and husbands had lived with Table 4.1 Comparisons of Covenant and Standard Marriages Covenant Standard Her Him Her Him Total surveyed (number) 257 297 324 381 1. Age at marriage (medians) 24.2...