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unless you absolutely have to. One of the worst things you can do as a young (or older) manager is to hold meetings just for the sake of it. Your people will resent you for it and those meetings will wind up being counterproductive. Next, when you do hold a meeting, make sure the meeting never lasts for more than an hour. The key is to not have too many items on the agenda and keep the conversation focused on the issue at hand. As the meeting facilitator, make sure your meetings are interactive and engaging and you as the manager don’t do all or even most of the talking. Send the message that you genuinely care about the feedback and input of your team. Another thing you can do is put individual team members together on specific projects. This will encourage them to work together and get to know each other. Coach their efforts and make yourself accessible without being a pest and looking over their shoulders. Then, when the individual mini-teams successfully complete a project, make sure you acknowledge those efforts to the larger team. The key is to create a positive feeling as early as possible and minimize the all-too-typical back-biting, finger-pointing, and petty politics that plague so many teams. Your attitude and behavior will be the biggest factors in how your team performs. The fact that you are starting so young as a manager and taking this responsibility so seriously is a very positive sign. Chapter 105 PEOPLE SKILLS AND LISTENING TIPS Following is some feedback from my column on people skills as well as some advice on a listening pet peeve. Ron Reich, a leadership development trainer, wrote in response to a column on people skills, saying, “I agree with you that relationships are key to success.However,I disagree with your advice regarding the‘golden 224 MAKE THE CONNECTION rule.’ As you stated, the golden rule teaches, ‘treat others as you would want them to treat you.’” According to Ron, the “platinum rule” is much more effective and useful. He says the platinum rule calls for treating others as they want to be treated. Reich recommends that a manager determine how his or her peers prefer to be treated and then use that style with them. Ron, you raise a lot of interesting points, but as for the so-called platinum rule, in reality there are often too many people in an organization to treat them exactly how you think they would want to be treated. In my column, I assumed that the vast majority of professionals would want to be treated fairly and, therefore, it is a safe assumption to assume others want the same thing. Maybe it’s a case of coming down to a combination of the golden rule and the platinum rule, which would make it, I guess, the silver rule. Another suggestion on how to improve your people skills under stress came from a reader who has over four decades in network TV and radio. He zeroed in on people who too often become abrasive when deadline pressures are approaching. He says, “In the news arena, these pressures mount each day. As a result, years ago I coined an expression for people working with me in those pressure-cooker situations—Poise Under Pressure (PUP).” This person swears by the PUP theory, which emphasizes maintaining composure when things get a little tough or stressful on the job. He insists on taking a moment to regroup before blowing off some steam, whether you are“dealing with breaking news stories or up against a financial report deadline.” I really like the PUP theory. Sometimes we blow off steam thinking it’s good for our mental health to get our frustration off our chest. I’m not so sure. This can sometimes turn off those around us. Instead, just taking that moment or two to regroup could pay big dividends in the workplace. Barbara Rogers (a pseudonym since the actual reader asked not to be identified), who calls herself an avid listener, writes that there are still many challenges she faces when it comes to honing this important communication skill. “I am frequently interrupted by family members (and an occasional neighbor) when I am speaking to them. I’ve explained to them that it is rude to interrupt, only to hear responses such as, Mailbag 225 [3.145.163.58] Project MUSE (2024-04-25 10:43...

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