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Chapter 2: Thinking about Gender and Power in Marriage
- Rutgers University Press
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Chapter 2 Thinking about Gender and Power in Marriage Thinking about power within marriage requires examining the gendered assumptions upon which marriage as an institution is built, as well as the difficulties researchers face in trying to conceptualize and measure power within marriage. In this chapter, I examine how power has been routinely conceptualized and measured within marriage, adapt these accepted measures to my work, and offer an alternative conceptualization of power that can illuminate more subtle dynamics in these marriages. The Conventional Marital Contract The balance of power in most marriages reflects the ideology of separate spheres in the conventional marital contract.Of course,this contract is not a written document; it consists of cultural understandings of the reciprocal rights and obligations that each spouse has within the institution of marriage.According to this unwritten contract,these rights and obligations are divided along gender lines, which construct men as breadwinners and women as mothers and homemakers.The man’s main responsibilities are to provide for the family economically and to represent the family to the community or the world at large.The woman’s main responsibility is to care for the home, husband, and children. If spouses hold up their end of the bargain, this exchange is considered both reasonable and fair. While this model may seem overstated and outdated, Joan Williams (2000) argues that the basic assumptions of this contract persist. This complementary organization of market work and family life exists as a system thatWilliams calls “domesticity.” Under this system, men are entitled and encouraged to perform as “ideal workers” in the marketplace, unencumbered by the demands of family life.Women, whether engaged 12 in paid labor or not, are marginalized in the workplace by their domestic responsibilities. They continue to be seen and treated by employers as mothers or potential mothers, which limits their options and opportunities at work.That women maintain responsibility for domestic labor and child care hampers their ability to engage in paid labor as ideal workers (i.e., men). So while the assumption that women will be engaged only in domestic labor has changed in recent years, the underlying contract that delegates breadwinning responsibility to men and domestic responsibility to women remains largely unchallenged. The conventional marital contract does not simply divide responsibilities between spouses; it also reinforces men’s power within marriage. This is because the responsibilities and tasks of husbands and wives are valued differently.Within most U.S.families,the income that the husband earns is the most highly valued asset. It confers a higher status on the husband, both within and outside the relationship, and has been used to justify men’s greater power in marriage, especially in terms of decisionmaking practices and control over the family’s financial resources. Historically , men have wielded power based on their greater incomes, and wives were expected to defer to their husbands’ authority. By contrast, women’s caring work at home has not been accorded the same status as breadwinning. That it is unpaid work signifies its lesser value, and the ability to refuse to do such work is one of the privileges men typically enjoy in marriage (Hochschild 1989).The conventional marital contract, then, underscores the greater value of the man’s contributions (income), while devaluing those of the woman (domestic services). In short, the bargain implied by the conventional marital contract is the key to continued gender inequality in marriage (Williams 2000). Admittedly, life has changed dramatically for married couples, especially in the last several decades.This model of husband as sole breadwinner and wife as homemaker describes the reality of only 25 percent of married couples in the United States today (Raley et al. 2003).Transformations in the economy have made it impossible for all but a comparative handful of families to enjoy a moderate standard of living on only one income. This makes it tempting to think of the man-as-breadwinner/ woman-as-homemaker model of married life as outdated and irrelevant. However, marriages are still constructed against the backdrop of the conventional marital contract. Culturally, we still hold men accountable Thinking about Gender and Power 13 [52.87.200.112] Project MUSE (2024-03-29 06:21 GMT) for breadwinning and women for mothering, regardless of whatever additional responsibilities they may take on. In most circles, men are still revered and respected based on the kind of work they perform and the standard of living their families are able to enjoy because of it. Remember...