Frontsoldaten: The German Soldier in World War II

Chapter 10: A Bitter Truth

The gnawing sense of waste--of lives squandered, youth lost, days and years never to be recovered-that tormented most Landsers in the immediate aftermath of the war heightened the difficulty for many in coming to terms with the past. So too did their ambivalent feelings about the nature of war. Most, of course, were simply happy to have survived; only later, as they began to detect the influence of their war experiences on their lives and characters, did the ambiguity, the complexity of emotion, emerge. Most of these men, confronted with the overwhelming devastation and unprecedented atrocities committed in this war of which they had formed an integral part, understood at one level that, as Karl Piotrowski put it, "the worst of all things is war. . . .It is worse than living in bondage."' Especially in their attempts to assess its lessons decades after the fact, one finds almost a litany of responses: "War is a swindle," "War is the worst thing of all," "The worst times were during wartime," and "I have nothing more to do with politics." And of course these statements were made and meant sincerely. The problem, though, was that almost despite themselves, most of these men betrayed contrary emotions, discovered in themselves at least a small part that saw positive aspects to the war experience. Piotrowski, for example, despite his disgust with war, still found it difficult not to express pride in the skill, the technical and tactical expertise, of the German Landsers, "the best soldiers of all," who would have triumphed but for the material superiority of the enemy. Likewise, Karl Vogt, although he acknowledged "so much suffering, you wanted not to see it any longer" and spokeof being sohungry that he ate birch bark and grass and "would have gnawed on a person," even Vogt admitted, "I also have good memories of the war. .. . [I] saw wonderful buildings, wonderful monuments. Churches and icons ...totally fantastic;I would never have gotten to see them, if not for the war."2 Vogt, trained as a baker's apprentice, imparted a kind of "touristic" quality to the war not uncommon for many average men who, admittedly in harsh and destructive circumstances, traveled to places and saw sights that otherwise would have been inaccessible to them. Although cognizant of the horror, Vogt clearly believed that he had in some strange way been broadened in his outlook, molded and matured by the war. It was almost as if the war, for him, had served the same function as reading the Bildungsromane (novels of personal growth) of Goethe or Mann. Few Landsers regarded war as anything but evil, yet in that almost mystical way that outsiders can never understand, most also would have concurred with one of their number who; writing in May 1940,called war "the greatest means of teaching and learning." War formed the man, it was "the great test," a "hard but valuable school .. .that strengthened the soul [and] ... steeled the will," a school that also taught "the true worth of people." War was, as virtually all who experienced it would attest, "an indelible experience that allowed us to encounter in a totally original sense the deepest laws of our being."3 Virtually all soldiers everywhere harbor the feeling that they matured as a result of their war experiences. Another apparently universal sentiment typical of many Landsers was the belief that war produced a unique form of friendship, a comradeship so profound that Guy Sajer could refer to it as "my only incentive for life in the midst of de~pair."~ Sajerreadily admitted that war was vile, but stillhe expressedthe feeling of many that they would not have missed it, given the comradeship, the knowledge gained, the sense of adventure. Other memories that tied the Landser to the universal experiences of soldiers everywhere were the bleak experience of watching a friend die or stirrings of guilt at having oneself survived; anger at the petty injustices of the army; the inner turmoil at being told to kill; constant fear like a living part of one's being; the odor of death emanating from the battlefield, which the years can't eradicate;the indescribable exhaustion that seized every combat soldier and refused to relinquish its grip; the personal rage as well as the exhilaration felt in combat; the sense of isolation and unreality on the front lines; and, not least, the reluctance to A Bitter Truth...