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42 I Never Said Yes, I Just Never Said No I talked all afternoon to my friend. After she pushed through the night, breaking herself bloody to release her child, the doctor botched-cut her up, slicing anus to pelvic wall. Now she can’t lift her daughter. Now pain climbs her to the teeth. Now she lies with a digital wand up her V and counts to ten and tries to make a fist. I wish love were more often sourcing me. I wish there were a way to get beyond all this. Yesterday, I stood my daughter on the sill and she pressed her hands to the cold window. People walking dogs. Beige grass recovering from the bludgeon of winter. And just like that, as if they’d summoned each other up, a boy toddled down our walk holding an orange. 43 They waved. His a smooth sweep of color. Hers a squeal and a knock on the glass. Then his grandma smoking on the sidewalk admonished him and called him back. ...

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