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BOB — University of Nebraska Press / Page 68 / / Case of the Ugly Suitor / Jeffrey M. Shumway 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 [First Page] [68], (1) Lines: 0 to 15 ——— 0.0pt PgVar ——— Normal Page PgEnds: TEX [68], (1) 4. “If You Love Me” Paternal Reason versus Youthful Romance María de Todos los Santos Sánchez de Velazco y Trillo was only fourteen years old when she decided on whom she wanted to marry: Martín Jacobo de Thompson, her second cousin on her mother’s side. It was not uncommon for cousins to marry, and at 23, Martín was handsome, well educated, and had already begun a promising career as an officer in the royal navy. Martín visited Mariquita (as she was known to family and friends) frequently in her home,where they fell in love. In the winter (midyear in the southern hemisphere) of 1801, they were engaged to be married. When Martín approached Mariquita’s parents for permission, they banished him from their home. They already had someone more appropriate in mind for Mariquita to marry—Diego delArco,a Spaniard much older than Mariquita. Mariquita stubbornly resisted her parents’ matchmaking while remaining true to her love for Martín. Perhaps she had been influenced by Father Manuel Azamor y Ramírez, a family friend who had spent considerable time in the Sánchez y Velazco home during Mariquita’s youth.1 The Roman Catholic priest was an outspoken proponent of the rights of couples to freely choose who they should marry without undo interference from their parents, a stand the Roman Catholic Church had taken at least since the Council of Trent in the mid 1500s. The Church had also presided over parent-child conflicts over marriage choice for most of the colonial period. In 1795 Azamor y Ramírez had published a treatise in which he used the story of Samson and Delilah to emphasize a couple’s right to choose. Although they disapproved of their son’s choice in a partner—she was, after all, a literal Philistine—Samson’s parents, who were “just and good,” respected his choice. Samson, also “just and good,”did not feel obligated to follow his parents’council; he committed no sin by marrying an “unequal” partner; nor did he fail to honor his parents, as commanded in Exodus. What the case of Samson and his BOB — University of Nebraska Press / Page 69 / / Case of the Ugly Suitor / Jeffrey M. Shumway paternal reason versus youthful romance 69 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 [69], (2) Lines: 15 to 19 ——— 0.0pt PgVar ——— Normal Page PgEnds: TEX [69], (2) parents illustrates, according to the Roman Catholic priest, is that “the parents understood, being just and good, that they could not, nor did they have the right, to impede the marriage and the choice of their son in such a delicate matter, a matter in which men and women possess all the natural freedom and spontaneous free will.”2 Perhaps Mariquita heard this version of Samson and Delilah’s romance from FatherAzamor y Ramírez himself. By the time the priest had written his treatise, the Bourbon monarchy had drastically reduced the Church’s authority by taking jurisdiction over marriage-choice conflicts away from the Church and putting it under civil authority. Any future Samson and Delilahs would most likely have to answer to a civil judge. Priests were also expressly banned from performing marriages,especially secret marriages,without parental consent . This is not to say that parents and judges had all power to control their children’s marriages, but fathers like Mariquita’s felt comfortable in making vigorous patriarchal power plays. Like many other parents, he and his wife thought they knew what was best for their fourteen-yearold daughter and that their love for her trumped her love for her cousin Martín Thompson. Whether it was Romeo and Juliet, Samson and Delilah, or Mariquita and Martín, conflicts between children and parents over love have long histories that span culture, race, and class boundaries. However...

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