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55 My Credo When I am with someone, I belong to him. I don’t even find other men attractive. Not as long as my man is sleeping with me. I lock in on that one man. Whether he cheats on me is immaterial. That may be his grasp on our relationship. It’s not mine. Sometimes when my knowledge of his infidelities becomes too overwhelming, I have slept with someone else, just so when I am with my lover I can tell myself, “I know we both have our little secrets.” But there would never be any possibility of my leaving him for that other man. And then, usually after some years of casual neglect, I will get up one morning and I won’t be in love anymore. And I depart. There is never any possibility of reconciliation. I don’t want to get into bed with someone to make “bamboola” as a rule unless I’m in love with him. There are any number of people who don’t like me. And I have always said, “I’m not for everyone.” ...

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