My Father’s Books

Dreams of a Lost Time

90 Dreams of a Lost Time For every­ one in the fam­ ily sleep was the great­ est treas­ ure. The ­ dreams of poor peo­ ple know no bor­ ders; they are sim­ i­ lar the world over. The ­ dreams of poor ref­ u­ gee fam­ i­ lies are a great treas­ ure.­ Father and ­ Mother often told us that ­ events in our ­ dreams some­ times took place in the aban­ doned house next to the lake, on the op­ po­ site shore, ­ across the bor­ der in our na­ tive coun­ try. If we had each told our­ dreams, some­ one could have com­ piled a har­ mo­ ni­ ous mo­ saic of our aban­ doned coun­ try, whose mem­ ory had be­ come so faded in the re­ al­ ity of fleet­ ing time and for­ get­ ful­ ness.­ Mother’s ­ dreams ­ traveled far­ ther, push­ ing ­ through the lab­ y­ rinth of the ­ family’s aban­ doned ­ houses. They made their way down to her na­ tive Les­ ko­ vik, to the ­ Albanian–Greek bor­ der and be­ yond; they ­ reached her close kin in Ja­ nina and from there went on­ ward to Sal­ o­ nika. She went to her fam­ ily, to the rel­ a­ tives of her ­ mother, who had died so young, seek­ ing a lit­ tle fa­ mil­ ial ­ warmth. In her ­ dreams she found the lost full­ ness of life. My ­ father’s ­ dreams were also ­ filled with an­ ces­ tors and close kin who came to dis­ cuss he­ red­ i­ tary land or to give their views on the inter­ pre­ ta­ tion of am­ big­ u­ ous deeds of title. My ­ father ­ dreamed of his own land and his own house, to which he never re­ turned and which, ­ through var­ i­ ous di­ vi­ sions and con­ fis­ ca­ tions, re­ mained whole only in his ­ dreams. Our ­ dreams, ­ children’s ­ dreams, made their way to the lake, up to the for­ mer bor­ der, and there they ­ stopped. The ­ dreams ­ reached the mon­ as­ tery at the very bor­ der above the lake, the bor­ der that di­ vided the two quar­ rel­ ing coun­ tries, ­ closed to each other. Many years later, after the bor­ ders had lost their for­ mer sig­ nif­i­ cance and our ­ dreams had worn away, our close rel­ a­ tives, whom we had not seen for a whole life­ time, came to see us from be­ yond the bor­ der. 91 Years and years had gone by with­ out our hav­ ing be­ come ac­ quainted, and yet, the older folks, un­ known to us ­ younger fam­ ily mem­ bers, told us we were close kin. So we began to tell our ­ dreams, ­ dreams ­ dreamed on both sides of the bor­ der, that Bal­ kan Wall. Our ­ dreams were so sim­ i­ lar that we could com­ plete each ­ other’s, ­ dreams of lost Bal­ kan time . . . ...