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163 “I think you have to go to Brazil, Margareth.” “What? Eduardo, how can I go? And you just got back. What happened?” Eduardo lowered his head and stared at his hands. He looked exhausted. We were sitting in the living room of the Seattle house I had recently bought. The housing market in the area was booming, so I had been able to sell the ramshackle cottage I had bought on Vashon only a year and a half earlier for double the price. With that money, I had managed to buy a 1905 fixer-upper in a neighborhood of Seattle known as the Central District. Nearly all my white friends in Seattle had told me that this was a bad idea. The Central District was mostly African-American and, for Seattle, inner city. Already, I’d noticed a drug and prostitution business being run out of one house across the street. The real estate ad had called my house a “farmhouse in the center of Seattle.” Maybe, I thought, with a great stretch of the imagination. When I moved in, all of the windowpanes were painted black. And they were all covered with bars—the prison farmhouse look. The backyard sprouted old bathtubs and toilets instead of grass and flowers. I had set up a desk and filing cabinet in one room for the Bahia Street office. Eduardo and I were sitting on a mattress on the living room floor. I hadn’t acquired much furniture yet. “I went to visit Claudia,” Eduardo said. “It was so hot, Margareth, that I couldn’t go inside. Most of it doesn’t even have a roof. Did you know that?” I nodded. “Well, it was getting ready to rain, but the sun on the tin roof of the one room where they live, it was terrible. Where do they sleep? They all must just sleep together on the floor! I don’t know how they do it.” “I know Eduardo,” I said. “It’s bad. But why do I have to go down?” Eduardo continued as if he hadn’t heard. “Claudia’s mother told me that her grandmother died and left her pension to Claudia’s brother. But he has decided to give it to her, so she can fix up the house.” “That’s great.” eighteen a view into the abyss 164 dance lest we all fall down “Yes, maybe. I hope she actually does that and doesn’t spend it on her boyfriend or something.” “Yes, well, we can’t do anything about that. How was your family, Eduardo?” “Good. Everything is fine with my family.” I waited. “Margareth... Claudia told me that she is ‘dating with responsibility.’” “Claudia is dating?” “Well, her mother doesn’t set the best example. I think her mother is encouraging her to date. Claudia also said that she ‘knows everything about abortion.’” “Great. Abortion is illegal in Brazil.” “Yes. I presumed that she meant she knows how to do it herself. I told her that the best thing would be to avoid getting pregnant in the first place so she wouldn’t have to worry about it. I pointed out that an abortion was very dangerous for a girl her age. She said, ‘I know that. My neighbor, she was thirteen. She gave herself an abortion and she died.’” “Fantastic.” “Rita can’t handle all this, Margareth. I was wrong to suggest Madalena. Madalena doesn’t like Rita, I think. And Mary, that new volunteer, don’t take me wrong, but she’s too American. She’s going to take over. I’m afraid Rita won’t stand up to her; she’ll just let her do it. But Mary can’t do Bahia Street. It’ll fall apart.” I stood up and walked around the room. The floor felt spongy under my feet. I hope this floor is solid, I thought. The last thing I could afford was rebuilding the foundation. “I wish I could call her,” I said. “Give her some support.” “If she had a phone. She stopped her cell phone, you know. She needs you, Margareth.” He watched me for a moment. “My wife’s pregnant,” he said. “But you just got married, didn’t you?” He grinned. “Not long.” “Well...congratulations.” I hoped my voice didn’t reveal my true thoughts. How was Eduardo going to support a baby? He’d only been in the States about two years, and he was planning to make a living...

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