Amá, Your Story Is Mine: Walking Out of the Shadows of Abuse

Queena

~ 42 ~ Apá was going to do, or he was going to get what we wanted. We all had big illusions and wishes. Maybe Estella would get a bike, or I would get china dishes for my doll, or Mary would have her own bed. One thing I loved about Apá was that he always said “yes” to everything we asked for, even though he never followed through.We always had our fantasies. Queena ~ Once, before fiesta time, when Apá was listening to all of our hopes, he told us he had a big surprise and would reveal it on the coming Friday. Crazy and anxious from such big news, we told him we could not wait. I thought the anticipation of Friday night would kill us all. Almost an hour later than expected that Friday, we heard the sound of an engine, our father’s engine.We ran out to the street to greet him as he scrambled out of his truck. He was wearing the most beautiful, mischievous smile, his gold teeth shining and his eyes filled with glee. It did not take us more than a second to notice that he was carrying a big burlap sack. “What’s in it? What is it?” we all yelled. He told us we would have to guess. We knew it had to be some sort of animal because we could see something wiggling around in the bag. We guessed that it was either a puppy or a rabbit. We knew it wasn’t a kitten because my mother did not like cats. My father knew he was torturing us with this game, so he gave ~ 43 ~ in and opened the sack.The cutest little black-and-white piglet we could imagine was curled up inside, shivering with fear. Apá said it would be our pet as long as we were responsible for it.We named this new treasure Queena. Queena’s first days with us were difficult for her. She found it hard to adjust to her new surroundings.The absence of her mother made her whine, but soon her cries became whimpers of happiness from all of our attention and feeding. My apá and tío made a pen for her, and she quickly became the neighborhood pet. In the meantime, we watched the house grow brick by brick, and as the house got bigger, Queena got bigger and fatter. When the construction of the house was complete, we knew there would be more things to do before this home would become ours. A fiesta was in the making. In the morning , my father sent us to my aunt’s house. When we returned home, the smell of roasting meat had driven the dogs in the vicinity into a manic barking, all at the same time. Brightly colored paper decorations excited the eye. The street was blocked with tables, perfectly lined up, dressed with white cloths and vases full of paper flowers, hot pink and red carnations big as chrysanthemums. Streamers of every color hung around the dancing area. It looked as if the governor might be stopping by. Some of Apá’s friends arrived early and sat around these tables overindulging in mountainous plates of rice, beans, and red moles with steamy corn tortillas. Those who were not chewing picked their teeth or licked the grease from their mustaches, while others with bellies about to explode belched and declared how delicious the food was. The ladies, including my amá, who had looked like housemaids when we left, were now transformed into further attractions of the fiesta. Some were dressed in happy colors— red and black taffeta—and others in beautiful white brocaded materials. Some looked truly festive. Others overdid it, with fake diamonds cascading into their cleavage as their breasts ~ 44 ~ hung like ripe pears, squeezed into too tight dresses stretched across their protruding stomachs.There were ladies with wide, round bottoms that seemed to go on forever, rippling like a tide. Their slinky spike-heeled shoes looked as if they were choking the feet that wore them. While not all of their appearances were perfect to the eye or beautiful from the outside, this was soon overshadowed by the richness of the ladies’ laughter.Their zest for fiesta spread like wildfire among the others who might be asleep on the inside, and soon they all floated together with the music.With the excitement...