Why Have Children?: The Ethical Debate

10 Procreation, Values, and Identity

10 Procreation, Values, and Identity In this book, I have presented no general formula for handling the ethics of choosing to have children; there cannot be one. In cases of ethical ambiguity, there are often no obvious, easy, mechanical answers. We can only attempt to figure out which purported solutions don’t work, and we can assess the weight of the evidence on different sides. To suppose ethics is or can be much more than this is to ask for what we cannot have. When we are trying to decide what is right and wrong, what we have a responsibility to do, and what we ought to avoid, all we have to work with is the reality around us—multiple societies of diverse human beings , all of them situated in a nonhuman material world with many other living and in some cases sentient beings. We get better at ethics as we learn more about those with whom we interact. For example, a better understanding of the harms of sexism and racism and how to respond to them has developed as human beings have learned more about gender and race as well as about gendered and racialized people (that is to say, about everyone—but especially those who have been victimized by virtue of their gendering and racialization). People (and other sentient beings) suffer, and they do not like to suffer. This we know. People are capable of joy, happiness, pleasure, well-being, satisfaction, achievement, and fulfillment . This we also know. That’s our main evidence collectively for any ethical conclusions we may draw. Inadequate ethics arises, at least in part, from inadequate knowledge. Hence, instead of standing back at a great distance from the procreation issue and pronouncing upon it, as a number of philosophers (mostly male) have tended to do, we must engage in close examination of the various issues and arguments, examining the strengths and weaknesses of different claims, and in particular remaining very aware that it is women 204 Chapter 10 who gestate and deliver babies, not machines, not society, not men, and not simply some gender-unspecified “reproducers.” That is what I have attempted to do in the previous nine chapters. Despite my own religious doubts, I began this book with a biblical quotation: “I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live” (Deuteronomy 30:19). When this quotation is hijacked by the antiabortion movement, it is dangerous to women. But as guidance to people wondering whether to procreate, it may be inspiring. People sometimes ask me whether I would advise them to have children . I often say, “Don’t miss it!” My response sounds excessively pronatalist , but I would argue that it is not. I certainly do not say it to people who have told me or of whom I know that they have already decided not to have children; nor do I say it to someone who has not raised the procreation question with me. I do not actively go around promoting procreation. But in response to people who have thought about it, who are weighing their choices, who are imagining life as a parent and life as a nonparent, I usually encourage them to take the plunge. Given all that I have said so far in this book, readers might wonder how I can possibly defend such advice. Earlier chapters demonstrated that it is not easy to find sound arguments to justify the individual choice to procreate. Reproductive rights are certainly not enough on their own to make having children something not to be missed. Both the deontological and consequentialist arguments for procreation are weak and inadequate . In addition, the sheer giving of life is not self-justifying, and creating a child does not automatically make one a good person. We cannot say that choosing to have a child is vindicated merely by the fact that the child now exists. Children are not brought into the world for their own sake because they do not preexist their conception. Coming into existence can turn out to be a benefit or a burden, depending on how the child’s life goes. Indeed, as I showed in chapters 7 and 8, there are some situations in which it is difficult to justify procreation. And the dangers of overpopulation and planetary despoliation imply that we should be especially cautious about making more...