An American Tune: A Novel

5 “Bird on a Wire”

65 “Bird on a Wire” Jane was surprised by the change she saw in her brother when she went home for Christmas. The greaser kid was gone, and the unsettling obsequiousness he’d displayed after the accident had been replaced by a quiet sense of purpose that made him seem older, more mature. “A blessing in disguise,” Jane’s mother said, again and again. The Marines were exactly what Bobby had needed: a fresh start, a chance to excel. All that tinkering with machines, she marveled. Rememberhowheusedtotakeaparttoastersandradios?Remember how he loved Lincoln Logs? And his Erector Set? Then came the car engines! He always did have a head for how things worked, she said. Now he was able to put it to good use. “Jesus,” Bobby said in a quiet moment. “She seems to have forgotten that someone died for this alleged blessing. Not to mention the fact that where I’m going to be putting all this shit to good use is Vietnam. I’m fine with that. I signed up for it, but–” He blew out his breath. “I used to get pissed off when you’d get so crabby with her, you know? But I’ve got to say, she’s kind of driving me crazy.” “Thank you,” Jane said, and they both laughed. They talked about how she fussed over them, how from the moment they walked into the house she’d started dreading their de5 66 An American Tune parture–which Jane felt all the more guilty about since Bridget and Tom had talked her into taking the bus down to Evansville for New Year’s Eve and spending the last few days of break at Bridget’s house. “Does she send you money all the time?” Bobby asked. Jane nodded. “I told her, don’t,” Bobby said. “I don’t need it. And I don’t! I get paid, for Christ’s sake. But she keeps sending it anyway, so I send it to Amy and Susan.” “IwishIdidn’tneedit,”Janesaid.“IfeelhorribleeverytimeIopen the envelope. But the money I made this summer wasn’t enough to get me through the year.” “I could send you money,” he said. “Seriously. What am I going to do with it in Vietnam?” “Bobby, you can’t do that,” she said. “Why?” She couldn’t answer, for fear of bursting into tears. “It’s no big deal,” he said. “Really.” Jane looked at her brother and saw the little boy he’d been. She remembered him sitting on the porch step every afternoon waiting for her to come home from first grade, how she swished past him so importantly with her little book bag full worksheets dotted with gold stars. “No,” she said, in a strangled voice. “You can’t.” “Why?” Bobby asked again. “Jane, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” “I’ve been such a shit to you,” she said. “I always have been.” “Hey, you’re my big sister,” Bobby said. “That’s your job.” “It’s not.” “So you’re a pain in the ass. So what? Jesus, would you quit crying ? You were only trying to keep me from screwing up all the time. Obviously, I should have listened to you.” He leaned over and drew her into an awkward hug. “If I promise not to send you money, will you write to me when I go overseas?” Jane nodded against his bony chest, laughing and crying until Bobby pulled away and did such a perfect and ridiculous impression of their mother’s “Blessing in Disguise” speech that her tears gave way to laughter. 67 “Bird on a Wire” A few times during break, the two of them took the car in the evening and went to the Big Wheel, where they sat, talking over Cokes and fries. Bobby told Jane about boot camp and the buddies he’d madethere.ShetoldhimaboutTomandBridget,aboutPeteandhow rich and screwed up he was. How he’d enlisted because he was about to flunk out and was probably headed for Vietnam himself. “He didn’t like studying, so he just . . . didn’t,” she said. “All that money. He didn’t even care about going to college, and he’s the one who got a free ride.” “Yeah, well, in case you haven’t figured it out yet, life’s not fair,” Bobby said. “As far as I can tell, most of the guys heading for Vietnam are gung-ho...