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4 The฀Green฀Bear฀Shanghaied The green bear was in the back seat of a car, sandwiched between two goons. He said, “What is this? Where are you taking me? And why?” A goon in the front seat turned around and said, “Not so fast, green guy. You know why you’re here. You have the designs for the new Superpistol, and we want them.” The green bear objected. “Sirs, I am only a middleman. These paws have never touched a Superpistol. The man you want isn’t a bear at all, he’s a man.” All the goons were listening. The green bear continued, “If I ever had the Superpistol I don’t have it anymore. The prototype is in the hands of the law. Laugh it up, gentlemen .” They drove to a deserted farmhouse, where they chained the green bear to a wall and began torturing him. The first torture was rootlessness: the green bear cut off from his ancestors. The second torture was denigration: his art maligned. And for a third torture they offered him fresh strawberry pancakes, with butter and syrup, then withdrew the offer at the last minute. This last was the worst indignity. The green bear tore and tore at his chains until the farmhouse came crashing down, burying all the goons. The green bear, unlike Samson, survived , and made his way back to civilization, dragging bits and pieces of the farmhouse. He learned that in his absence 01.Poems.1-64_Fried.indd฀฀฀4 11/28/05฀฀฀12:33:17฀PM 5 Congress had forbidden the construction of the Superpistol as a weapon too horrible to imagine. He was enjoined from further research into the making of the Superpistol. The green bear found the woman who betrayed him, and plugged her. He continued his adventures. 01.Poems.1-64_Fried.indd฀฀฀5 11/28/05฀฀฀12:33:17฀PM ...

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